One of my coworkers asked me that question today. I was actually proud of her! She poked the bear (me - I fit that bill pretty well in our office space)! I restrained myself from total honestly and said “yes <pause
for effect> especially when driving”.
It was one of my perversely prouder moments at work recently!
We’re working on team building at work. I’ve been pushing for this so am on board with the plan. I have a fantasy of working well
with my teammates, trusting them and their abilities, bringing up the quality of the services we provide by cross training and improving processes by sharing knowledge and smoothing out work loads by sharing work.
To that end, recently, I moved
into a room with 4 other people. One other introvert (like myself) and 3 extroverts. We're going to try to get to know/understand each other better and
eventually cross train and share workloads.
Sounds like a great idea in theory!
While this IS a great idea
in some ways it has problems. I know we are opening a can of worms in some ways. Some things are getting aired out on my part - my coworkers are getting to know me a bit - liking me might be another story but they are getting to know me a bit. Affection is nice but unnecessary as far as I'm concerned. I'm ok with respectful professionalism and I'm working on that.
I’m
still an introvert. That's not going to change. I'm also rather intolerant of too much peopling. Also not going to change. I’m out of my
comfort zone. When I choose to be with
people, I’m generally pretty picky about who I’m going to spend much time
with. Work forces unnatural relationships on me. I’ve learned how to act more
extroverted thanks to having extroverted parents and watching them do their
thing as I grew up, but the fact is that being around people stresses me out. That's a basic fact about me.
There has been some progress as far as the team. I’ve been able to make peace and work
effectively with one coworker that I’ve had personality conflicts with
previously. It’s going surprisingly
well! She’s the one I had the proud "poked
the bear" moment with today.
Some of these people really trigger my urge to poke the bear
and part of me delights in it. Like when
one of my coworkers thought I was out of the office and asked another coworker
if they were alone (we have walls sort of so she couldn’t see me at that
moment). I piped up and said “Nope! I’m here so you’ll have to wait longer to
talk about me!” I'll admit I sat in my office space behind a wall smirking to myself as she sputtered.
This is someone I’ve historically made a point of avoiding
because #1 she’s not my type of person and #2 she’s been bitchy to me in the
past, framing is as a “joke” that I didn't find funny.
I’ve called her out on this since we’re now office mates. They want us to get to know each other which
to my mind means that the air needs to be cleared a bit. If I have to sit with someone day in and day out I’m not going to let them blow
smoke up my ass about anything. Get straight with me or shut it.
Now she knows what I thought about her bitchy "joke" and
that I know she was being bitchy to me.
She finally shut up her defense of it being a joke once she realized I
wasn’t going to play the nice-nice game with her. I'm not going to pretend to make nice. Suck it up and deal. If you don't like it, stop handing the shit out or it's coming back at you.
I don’t like it when people act like assholes and get away
with it. If they know they’re going to get
called out it takes some of the fun out of the whole deal.
You might think I’m acting like an
asshole. I do that. I'm not above it. Sometimes I frolic in my asshole-ness! I frolic like a mo-fo! It can be really, really fun to let loose with my bitchy side! I generally try not to at work but sometimes a bit gets loose on me even there. I normally hold most of it in until I'm driving home and then I call people who appreciate that asshole that I am and we laugh and laugh! Well, if you want to, call me out on it if it bothers you and
we’ll deal with it.
(these made me laugh)
I’ve warned certain people who like to complain about how
“Glenna doesn’t like me” that I’m not interested in baby games, I'm not interested in their emotional needs/dramas around the office and if we act like grown-ups and professionals then things should be fine.
So that’s me. I’m not
a great “team” player.
I have fairly simple rules of communication: Don’t turn one question into two by asking if
you can ask me something. Irritating.
I don’t do small talk.
It’s an inane waste of time. Not
my bag, life is too short to waste on idiotic conversation. Unless it’s about something funny…then go for
it!
(go for it - I'm waiting)
Don’t baby talk to me.
When you do that the evil beastie side of me wakes up. That’s the best way I can describe what it
feels like when I get triggered. Best
comparison is that I’m like my cat, Lucy. She
is a dominant personality in our house and is triggered by our other cat, Chloe, who lacks
confidence and slinks around like prey. Chloe ends up being treated like prey because she acts like prey.
If you act like a cringing or cowering animal when you
approach me; if you baby talk to me like you’re trying to appease me or appear small to me…I'll find it extremely unappealing and want to get you away from me quickly and keep you away from me so that I won't have to spend so much time reigning in my evil beastie side.
It's actually better to go around thinking I don't like you than to deal with that less-than-nice side of my personality.
Honestly, does it really even matter if I like you? You didn't take this job to have a social life did you? I took this job to work. I'm lucky I've made some friends along the way but I go to work each day so that I can pay for my REAL life...the one I live when I'm not at work. The one that ISN'T replaceable like a job is.
Moral of the story: Act like a grown up, don't be an idiot, talk to me like a normal person and we should do alright.
I would like a better team atmosphere. I’d like to be able to leave work and not be
“punished” with overload when I return.
I’d like to have others be able to step in and take care of my clients
when I’m gone. I’d like to be able to
keep everyone busier instead of a few of us who work at home at night and on
weekends to keep up while others seem to have time to nap and wander around socializing. For that I/we need a functioning team. For that I need to work on this. For that I need to spend some time out of my comfort zone. I have to deal with people I'd prefer to not speak to. I have to sit in a room of noise/people/input that stresses me out.
I recognize that I'm part of the problem because I don't always play well with others. In some ways I will remain a problem that way because there's a limit to how much I'm going to put up from my coworkers. I'm bendable but there are limits. But we have a common goal and hopefully we can do better together. It's not going to be comfortable but I've already made gains from discomfort.
Do I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots? You want the real answer? Obnoxiously and honestly, yes I do, but I'm working on it!
Proud moment and venting accomplished for tonight - thank you!
