It's quiet tonight

My life is quiet
I sit, staring at the computer, waiting for something to change
Nothing does
I felt stabbed with fear yesterday
I wished you were here with me
Telling me everything will be ok

My life is soft
I roll thru my days, sometimes barely noticing
Everything stays the same
Then a sudden change and I worry
I find my core and get steady again
In the end, it doesn't matter
Let it go

I'm surrounded by people I barely know
Who barely know me
I feel like I'm watching a movie of myself
Staring out the window, waiting to be buried in minutiae
Not what I expected
I should have dreamt of more

I'm surrounded by people I love
Who love me
I feel more myself, full of joy and laughter
Then I'm alone again, life becomes quiet
A pause

I listen to the furnace blow
I hear the click of the keys as I type
The monitor looks back at me
I enjoy the quiet and let go of my worries
It's peaceful
Not ready to let go of it yet