2012 Resolutions

I have two resolutions for this coming year.

#1 Lose some weight before my 30th class reunion coming up in July.

I have my work cut out for me with this. I think I may even embarrass myself by posting my weekly weight-ins here and writing about what I'm doing to accomplish this goal. I doubt it will be inspiring but hopefully it'll be successful!

I lost a bunch of weight a while ago but have managed to gain most of it back. I'd hoped to manage it better than I have but now I have work to do again. I love to bake and I love to eat!! Not a great combination for someone who gains weight just by thinking about it! Healthy food can be really tasty but it just isn't the same.

Losing weight is such a mind game for me. When I did it the last time it was because I wanted to get laid. Yes, I said that! I was going to put myself back into the dating pool again. Was hoping for love but sex was something I wanted even more than that. I'm in my prime and the lack of good, groaning, sweaty sex was driving me bat shit! Bad age to be single! I figured I'd better improve my looks if I wanted some attention and it worked even better than planned!

I had more attention than I knew what to do with! And I remembered why I hate dating. REALLY HATE DATING!! It gets hard to take after a while. I had to take regular breaks from it to keep from wanting to...I don't know. I wish I would have blogged about those adventures! I was keeping a journal back then but it's on the risque side to post here.

I don't date anymore. Whew! I have met a man I am crazy about! I met him on facebook of all places! An ex-classmate that I never hung out with back in the day. I bet we never said 2 words to each other when we were kids. We had nothing in common then and wouldn't have known what to do with each other anyway. Well I know what to do with him now!

Back to the mind game point I started making...when I lost weight last time it was to get laid. This was a HUGE motivator for me! Now, the motivator is to try to avoid having my old classmates say "she really let herself go". Sadly that's not a great motivator for me. I've made a habit of not caring a whole lot about what others think about me, unless it impedes me getting something I want. What do I want from my classmates? Well, if I don't succeed at this weight loss plan I want them to keep their "she really let herself go" comments amongst themselves...I do not want to hear it! They can say it (they will even without my permission) but shush please when it comes to me! If I do succeed then I don't want anything but the pleasure of seeing them all again!

BF says he doesn't care about my weight and encourages me to eat. He gets disappointed if I eat boring food. He is no help with weight loss. So somehow I have to convince myself that losing weight is necessary for something I want (see the problem?) and this has to stick for months to come for me to have success.

I'm thinking that shame might work. If I record my efforts here, in public, it could help me stick to my plan. Worth a shot!

#2 Become a renter instead of a homeowner.

This one can potentially take a lot of work and money. I live in a mobile home and have heard rumors that the park office is trying to get rid of older homes like mine, unless they are upgraded. But I have a game plan.

This spring I will talk to the park office and get the scoop on what the real story is. Find out if I need to side the house and put new windows on it before it'll be allowed to stay in the park.

Next step is to talk to a realtor. If the park demands that improvements be made then I need to find out from the realtor what my options are. If I make the improvements, can I sell the home for enough to get my money back so can pay off the loans? Or should I leave it as is, have it hauled off the lot and let someone buy it cheap and fix it up the way they want it? There are a lot of possibilities to be considered.

One way or another I intend to get my house sold. It's a step in my master plan!

I gave away about half a houseful of furniture the beginning of December! I'm thinning out my life/stuff. It feels better than I thought it would! I have my bedroom and my kitchen intact (well some stuff has been given away from the kitchen) and my recliner and TV/stand in the living room. Not much else. I want to get my belongings down to a single truck load so I still have some work to do. It is almost like being dead and parceling out your belongings to loved ones. This is my preview of what I'll miss out on when I'm actually dead!

I figure these 2 subjects will give me enough to write about in the coming year.

PMS & friends

Had a decent day at work. Was busy. I prefer that. I was also productive. My girlfriend and I email regularly during work days to chat about our lives. Today we were both suffering from hormone overload and decided we needed to get together tonight. I haven't seen her for a long time so YAY!

Ran home after work to let the dog out and change into some jeans. Was dreading the jeans part because I'm so fat lately between water retention and just plain being too fat again. (Weight Watchers, here I come again!) Anyway, I get to my front door and find a nasty gram there from the park office. I, my friends, am trailer trash. Anyway, the park office is threatening retribution if I don't get my leaves raked by Thurs. 9 AM! Bastards!! I hate those people sometimes! Then things got even better...

I walked in, feeling like a snarling animal (hormones and this place annoys the shit out of me on a good day) and notice an odor in the air. My darling shi-tzu, Bruiser, had the hershey squirts all over the floor while I was at work and decided to walk around in it too for good measure! Lovely! I tip toe over that disgusting mess and pick up my disgusting puppy to take him outside. Then I begin the cleaning process. Gag!

It was partially dried and crusty and took some elbow grease to get off the floor. I need to wash a rug also. Debating if I should just throw it and start over honestly. Then I grabbed my gross puppy and threw him in a bath. He doesn't like baths but I don't like crap coated dogs either and guess what? I won!

Squeezed myself into too tight jeans (they all are too tight right now...by next week they'll be better...after the bloat and all the retained water decides to clear out). Hit the road to the mall. Friend calls to find out where to meet and I launch into my bitch session...why wait to be in person? She tells me she is so thrilled to be meeting with me tonight (sarcasm is dripping).

After a few hours of eating, drinking, shopping and bitching I feel much better! Plus I'm in my sweats. Oh forgot to wrap up the leaf issue...called my son and told him he could take some $ off his insurance payment if he came over and cleared the leaves. Yes of course he says! He's a good boy :)

I would have been in a spot if not for him. Tomorrow is supposed to thunderstorm. Tonight I had plans and those are rare lately with this pal of mine...our schedules do not match well for getting together. So without his help I would have had to cancel tonight to rake leaves.