Oh no! That dreaded
time of year has reared its ugly head again!
I wish I could say that this time of year fills me with
happiness and a feeling of goodwill towards my fellow man. Instead it makes me want to clutch my
pocketbook to my breast and hang on for dear life! It also makes me groan when I think of the extra work that needs to
be done to decorate, shop and bake in preparation for the big event. And then there is the event. Organized chaos! Luckily my sister manages that for the most
part since she hosts every year. She’s
allergic to my dog and has a much larger house than I do so it’s just the way
it’s been for years. YAY Stacey!! Thank you for saving me from some of the
chaos!!
The one good thing about it is I get a day off with holiday
pay. Meh. It’s something.
This year I have been making my credit cards weep in agony
as I try to get my house into compliance for sale. (Joy of living in a mobile home - another pack of folks who get to boss you around aka the Park Office) I REALLY want to get it sold and get on with
my life! I feel like it’s a weight
around my neck right now and it’s strangling me a bit. (When I let myself feel all dramatic about
it, which I do sometimes.) So here comes
Christmas. The season of gift
giving. yay. I really get what Scrooge felt about
it! The last time I felt the “magic” of
Christmas I was a little kid and my Mom was the one groaning through all the
work to make it magical for me. Thanks
Mom! That was the best time of my life and I was too stupid to know it! Then I grew up and it became my job
and the party was over. Dammit! I keep telling my grandkids not to be in such
a hurry to grow up. It isn’t that
great! Think they’ll listen? Of course not. They never do.
So now I’m trying to figure out how to afford gifts for my
loved ones while avoiding making my checkbook/credit cards begin to rend their
garments in agony. It doesn’t help that
I don’t have a clue what to get for anyone this year and that giving everyone
money would be tacky as well as looking bad to have nothing but envelopes under the tree. Tempting though because boy oh boy, would it simplify my life to do it that way! I need to PONDER what they might like that’s
cheap. I don’t have time to ponder! I tend to fill that time reading books (bad
habit I know). I should probably make
myself leave the books alone and just sit and ponder a while. I wonder if that would help? Knowing me, I’d zone out and not accomplish
anything. Or I’d wander off because I
thought of something I had to do.
So I’m stuck with the gift giving festival conundrum. Bah Humbug!
And then there’s the decorating. Last year I gave away my crappy fake tree and
didn’t decorate at all. Penelope was too
little to care and Brooke & Ariana were in WA with their Dad so they didn’t
care either. I didn’t care – it was
great! Now, since I Penelope is old
enough to notice and the girls are here this year, I feel like I should
decorate but I’ve given myself an out.
Lee (daughter I donated crappy fake tree to) may or may not use my tree. Her boyfriend wants a real one. If they get a real one, I’ll take my crappy
fake tree back and decorate it and be a good grandma with a festive house for
the kids to visit. If they decide to
save some $’s and use the tree, gosh, grandma is off the hook! Weirdly tho, I’ll feel a bit bad if I’m off
the hook. My grandparents always had
things looking festive for us when we visited.
I feel like I’m dropping the ball on this one. But I’m also too poor (see above) to purchase
another crappy fake tree so that’s that.
So my house may or may not be decorated. And either has drawbacks. Bah Humbug!
And finally there is the baking. Now normally I LOVE baking! I really do!
But this is baking that becomes almost like work because there is so
much of it. And it has to be done by a
certain time so it can be shipped in time to get to loved ones before the
holidays. Pressure. GAH!
Plus ingredients aren’t free (see above).
There is another piece to this issue for me. I’m trying to lose weight. My natural state seems to be fat and if I don’t
diet constantly I revert to fat. Sadly I’ve
reverted to fat again so must fend it off.
So I’m back to dieting AND I’m supposed to bake a billion cookies. All those good smells and flavors surrounding
me for days and days! And I’m supposed
to diet. Yeah right.
Diets kill joy.
I wish I liked being slim more than I like eating yummy
food! Alas, that is not the case. Would solve some problems if it was.
Why can’t anything that tastes so good be good for you? Why am I stuck munching on freaking celery as
a snack??? Why the hell can’t the
cookies I bake be a healthy option?
Because it’s a sin. Yes, cookies
are sin incarnate. Anything that makes
you happy and feels good is sinful and bad for you. Christmas cookies are sin incarnate – leading
you into temptation and indulging in one of the 7 deadly sins, GLUTTONY!!! Think about it folks! Life isn’t fair. If life was fair, ice cream would be diet
food.
I don’t know if I’m going to resist GLUTTONY well. I rather like sinning sometimes! Most of the time in all honesty. I'm a bad seed. I may have to give in to my dark side if I’m
going to enjoy this holiday season at all…JS
The fat/diet/cookie/sin thing makes me bitter. Bah Humbug!
