This morning I'm sitting in my office, feeling hunger pangs in my tummy. I feel cranky because yesterday I didn't even need breakfast and no breakfast = less calories taken in for the day. I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself, wishing I could have a breakfast that was worth eating. Something I'd enjoy, instead of a coffee cup full of instant oatmeal to make my tummy shut up.
Then my co-worker waltzes by and sings ♫ Good Morning ♫ to me.
She does this every morning. And from what I can hear, she only does it to me. I'm not the only person here...others are by her desk and yet, it's just me. Why?
I am an early riser but I'm not a chipper, happy, sunshiny early riser. In fact I'm rather sullen. So why does she persist in singing good morning to me each morning? Does she think I'll change?
I sometimes try to respond but it comes out in something of a croak. I'm not a big morning talker.
Compared to a lot of people I know I'm on the anti-social side of the spectrum. I'm weirdly content to be left alone most of the time. I've always been that way.
My parents used to lock me outside to try to force me to play with the neighbor kids. They are social creatures and felt that somehow I was missing out on life by not being more sociable. I preferred to sit in my room and read or play with toys by myself a good portion of the time. I actually did have a bunch of friends in the neighborhood but I also have always enjoyed my own company and need plenty of alone time. People stress me out!
I'm an introvert. I'm not one who shyly looks at her shoes when she talks to people. I think that's the classic image people have of introverts. I'm not like that at all! But I do need "down time" from the social aspect of life and lots of it. It's like recharging batteries. If I don't get down time I can become incredibly stressed, restless and emotional.
Growing up in a large family I learned to zone in and zone out. If I wanted to read I would zone in on the subject and zone out all extraneous distractions. I did it so well it was like waking up to come out of it to talk to people. Sometimes it would take them several attempts to break through. I can focus like a madman! When I do this I sometimes jump out of my skin when someone unexpectedly breaks through into my zone.
Anyway...
I feel bad for my morning butterfly because I don't like being fake and if I'm not in the mood to sing back ♫ Good Morning ♫ it's not gonna happen. I haven't felt the compulsion to sing it back yet though I have attempted to do more than croak an inarticulate response to her as she flits by.
She doesn't appear to be bothered by any of this. She persists.
Maybe it doesn't matter.
