50

I’m going to be 50 years old tomorrow.

Personally I don’t mind this.  It’s some of the things that come along with it that I’m not enjoying that much. 

I’m less bendy.  Recently I’ve had two unpleasant sessions with back problems, one of which I blogged about here earlier this month, the other was triggered by stooping to scrape some food into the garbage.  HOW DARE I STOOP?  <face slap>  For heaven’s sake, I’m almost 50…if I stoop I must be punished by my spine!  I’m going to keep this clean so will not launch into a swearing tirade about my spine.  I’m not friendly with it at the moment.  I'd like a divorce but can't handle being that floppy.

Two weeks in a row of pain, missed (unpaid) work and numerous chiropractic visits.  It’s been over a week since the last spasm so doing ok but still feel stiff and sore.  In essence, I’m feeling old and creaky.  It’s one thing to turn 50.  It’s another thing to feel like you’re 80 while you’re doing it. 

The reason I say 80 is because I learned this weekend that my Dad, at 73, is more limber than I am at the moment.   Made me a bit gloomy about my future if I don’t get myself in better shape!  I think I’m going to try yoga and see if I can restore some flexibility.  Things hurt so I protect them and in doing so I think I’m making it worse.  I expect I’ll find out if I’m wrong about that if I do some yoga.  We'll see.  It's more blogging material if it doesn't go well so there's a silver lining for you.

I’m in the menopause zone!  Or is it perimenopause?  Who knows but Huzzah!  I have hot flashes and PMS.  Fun times.

I could eat a horse or two.  If they were made of chocolate I could.  Last night I ate a semi-dried out amaretto cupcake because Lacey ate the last of the pre-b’day cake before I realized I had a craving.  Survival of the fittest at my house when it comes to cake!  Looking back on it, it seems rather pitiful.  But while it might have been dry and a bit chewy (not quite dusty) the flavor was good!

Those lovely hot flashes are such fun…standing there washing dishes with sweat dripping into your eyes.  Having to stand in front of the fan flapping your shirt to cool off because you’re drenched in sweat.  In January.  When it's a hundred degrees below zero. 

And night sweats.  Oh yeah baby!  Nothing better than getting up to pee and then crawling back into a bed with damp sheets during the winter time.  Nosiree!  Nothing is much better than that! 

And the peeing…it’s a rare night where I just SLEEP all night long.  Sadly I don’t think I can blame that on PMS or menopause.  I should probably not drink anything after 6 PM or some crap like that.  Pfft.  Like that’s going to happen!

Right now I’m rather bitchy.  I can blame that on PMS OR menopause.  I have options!  Let’s just say I don’t think I should have to take responsibility.  I’m hormonally insane.  Not my fault.  It's natural! (This could work for me)

Time for a gratuitous picture of Bill Murray.  Some will understand...