Long necklaces

Long necklaces are kind of fun because you never know what they’ll do next!

I decided to wear one today to further my shirt illusion.  I’m feeling a little like a rebel right now.  I’m wearing a shirt that has two skulls on it at work!!  I have this loose weave sweater/cover up on over it so the side of the skulls end up looking like a rather form flattering pattern on my rib cage.  

Figured I’d further dress up the deal with a long necklace!  I feel rebellious because I look rather nice wearing a skull shirt at work!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA! 

You gotta take what you can get for amusement in life right?

Well today my necklace has been busy.  I’ve worn it to work before and never noticed its shenanigans.  Today it’s been trying to wrap around my boob and/or head for the armpits.  Both sides.  Makes me wonder what the hell I’m doing to cause that? 

I learned today that it doesn't just happen to me.  This is considered a BAD necklace choice for this bust line.  I like long necklaces tho so PFFT.

I probably talk about boobs too often.  I almost didn't post this until I talked to my daughter and she asked why shouldn't I talk about boobs?  She has a point so I'm going to talk about boobs again.  Trust me, I think this works...

Boobs are an obstacle.  Things like necklaces loop around them.  They fall out of loosely worn bras at inopportune moments.  Massage chairs at malls occasionally unhook their bras and then you have to slink off to the nearest restroom to correct the problem.  It's like they're always trying to escape or decorate themselves with your long necklaces...they go boinging around, hither and yon if not properly restrained.  They are a pain in the ass. 

There are good points to them though.  Men love them!  Some women do too!  They distract people from looking at my belly.  They are soft places for little ones to lay their heads.  You can tuck things in your bra around them and use them for storage.  Sometimes you can catch things you’ve dropped in them too.  They can be handy!

Definitely not mine!  But they illustrate the "handy" point and I figure almost everyone likes to see them anyway so why not?

Boobs are like life.  They can be a negative or a positive.  Just depends on how you look at them.  Is that a pun considering the picture right above this?  

I keep getting that reinforced at work lately.  Life, like boobs, can be negative or positive, depending on how you look at it.  

Last week I had several days in a row where people were rude to me.  I was appalled, annoyed and  pissed off about it!  I really let it get to me.  I moped around at home in the evenings.  I didn’t go for my exercise walks, using the crappy weather as an excuse.  I should have been walking to relieve stress and clear my head but I did not.  I was depressed and wallowing in it.  After about 3 days of this I finally got sick of myself and started looking at the interpersonal problems that appeared to be going on and thinking of ways to improve the situation. 

The next morning I came into work and decided that come hell or high water, it was going to be a GOOD day and no one and nothing was going to shit on my plan! 

Weirdly it worked!  I had another rude individual to deal with that morning but this time, instead of taking it personally and negatively, I added her name to my “solution” plan and decided to deal with her in a different way in the future.  I decided to make contact with these problem people more personal.  To avoid email as much as possible since that seems to make little monsters out of some personality types.  Instead I’m opting for phone calls and direct human conversation.  I think it’s harder to be negative/bitchy to someone when they are calling you with a helpful attitude!

I decided I was going to reinforce that I am not their enemy.  That I ask questions because I need answers, not to make their lives difficult.  I decided I was going to make them love me!  Not a hard thing to do because, despite my hard edges, I am pretty danged lovable!   I know this because I have a bunch of folks in my life who love the crap out of me and I love the crap out of them. 

I can do this!

So far it’s been going well!  I’ve been making my phone calls instead of emails and the communication has been friendly and useful.  Vast improvement over last week! 

So on one day my life sucked and I moped and was sad.  On the next day, had the same type of thing but kept smiling and working towards improving the day.  It freaking worked!! 

Life is like boobs.  It can be wonderful or a pain in the ass.  You can focus on the good side or the negative side.  Trust me when I say I know how hokey that sounds.  I have rolled my eyes MANY MANY MANY times when people have posted about how to be more positive on Facebook!!  MANY TIMES.  MANY.  Lots even.  I'm lovable but something of an ass also.

It’s the little things you need to focus on if you want to smile more.   Like…

• I’m wearing a double skull shirt at work and still look like a professional!  I feel like a rebel!
• My necklace has been busy today (just checked – right now it’s hanging calmly like it’s supposed to)
• The telephone is not my enemy.  It can be a useful tool!  (Says a phone phobic person – me)
• Thanks to people being rude to me for days at a stretch, I remembered that I’m well loved and therefore the rude people will not be able to resist the onslaught of my incredible charm when I inflict it on them via the telephone! 
• Today I used Twitter to bitch about something that irks me to no end.  If I said it on Facebook I’d have to get in pissing matches with people I care about and frankly, life is too short.  But I still like to bitch sometimes just for the sake of it.  No one listens to me on Twitter though I got another follower today...maybe they do and they like it?  Anyway, it made me happy! 
                                         ♫ I said the F word on Twitter ♫

Time for another gratuitous Bill Murray pic...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Not!  Here ya go!

I wouldn't mind getting a hat like this someday...

Things my Mother taught me

My Mom at age 19...before I arrived on the scene

On this Mother's Day I'm thinking about my Mom.  She's in the next state over and, if I know my brother, she'll be getting some Mother's Day love from at least one of us today.  I sent her a card and we had a good chat on the phone the other night again.  My Mom is one of my favorite people to talk to!  Here are some of the things my Mom taught me.

* Moms can and should play with their kids. Moms should climb on monkey bars and swing on swings and try to play ball (she tended to duck a lot but she was game!)  Moms, when they become Grannies/Greats (she chose that term...she likes being a Great), should play with silly putty and chase their great gran-kids around the yard shooting toy arrows at them or sword fighting!

 

* Moms are sometimes silly creatures.  My Mom loves oddities.  She collects little "critters" that do song/dance numbers or are silly, like an old naked man in a little bathtub statue she keeps in her living room.  She likes to be surrounded by things that make her smile and laugh.

* Moms can have wicked painful pinches if they catch you messing around in church during services.

* Moms can be so pretty and nice and sweet that some of the boys you bring home will develop crushes on her. Which is good because they need someone like her to see what an awesome woman should be like when they grow up!  She still is charming the men in my life to this day!

* Moms will use guilt, even to try to win at cards sometimes.  We're on to her.  She still tries.

* Moms can throw tantrums. Oops!  Maybe that's more me than my Mom!  Tho it is rather silly when my Mom gets so mad she tries to smack you...she's not very good at it.  My siblings will understand exactly what I'm talking about when I say "flailing hands of fury".

* Moms are not saints.  My Mom isn't.  She taught me how to live.  How to be real.  How to admit when things are tough, to even whine/cry about it but how finally you have to get up, dust off and take care of business.  How it was ok not to be perfect.  It's more about how you fix problems than staying out of them.  Life has problems.  You gotta deal.

* Moms are tough.  Even when it cost her, my Mom would try to do what was right.  She'd even admit sometimes that she didn't want to but she would still forge ahead to do what seemed right to her, even if it was hard.  Even if it hurt. She may seem like a softie most of the time, but there is steel in her spine.

* Moms are capable of unconditional love.  Even if she's really mad at you, she'll still love you.  Fiercely.  And you never have to doubt it, though you might have to put up with "the look" quite a bit.

I'm REALLY LUCKY I got to be my Mom's kid!!!