Why do I always conveniently forget how uncomfortable
Halloween face makeup is when worn for hours and hours?
Today has been another Halloween adventure.
This morning I gave that zipper makeup kit the hairy
eyeball. I’ll be honest with you. I really wasn’t in the mood to do this
today. I pondered and then thought oh
hell, you spend $13 on it and it’s not like you can use it for something else
so put the damned thing on!
So I did.
It was a process.
Spirit glue is a tacky beast to work with! I got it on and then glued up the zipper and
got it all into place and had to hold it for a bit and then wanted to see if it
was setting up and discovered that parts of the zipper were stuck to my hands
better than my face. Finally got things
where I wanted them (mostly).
I was still holding the part down that wrapped around my
lower jaw and noticed that I’d gone off pattern a bit. I’d outlined the zipper locations with
eyeliner so I’d know where to put the glue when the zipper was off. I had black eyeliner marks showing on my
chin. I didn’t want black eyeliner marks
on my chin!
So I’m holding the zipper on with one hand and trying to
scrub off the eyeliner marks with the other and it wasn’t going well because I’d
covered it with glue and the glue was keeping everything in place and my
fingers were sticky etc. So I grabbed a
cotton pad.
Yeah, sometimes I’m a moron.
When you are battling to remove glue from your face when you
have glue on your fingers you should NEVER grab a cotton pad!
So I end up with black eyeliner pencil marks and sticky glue
AND cotton fuzz stuck on my chin at the bottom of the zipper. I did manage to get some of the mess off. Luckily I don’t think anyone really noticed
because of the other mess I put on my face after I got the zipper attached.
I finished applying the makeup and let my hair out of the
hair band and it promptly became stuck in a gob in the “bloody scab” on my
face. I managed to pick it out of the “scab”
and get it back into a pony tail to give the “scab” time to set up.
I slapped on my glasses and off I went to work!
So I get to work and by this time everything is setting
up. It’s starting to feel like a real
scab in that it’s stiff and makes my face move weirdly. I let the hair out of the pony and it doesn’t
stick. YAY!
A co-worker stops by to admire my work and I decide to take
my glasses off so he can see how cool it is and I discover that my glasses are
stuck to the zipper on my face.
Gosh this is fun!
Well I’m enjoying having my makeup job be admired and
such. It’s a slow day at work for me
because I’m waiting to get something back from the TX office. There’s a dessert contest going on at work so
I decide to go take pictures of the desserts before they get eaten.
Lots of cute desserts!
There’s a cake with pretty frosting that looks delicious. I take my shot and start to put the lid back
on the pan. The lid has, like, lips on
it that wrap around the rim of the pan and it’s not going on smoothly so I
think that maybe it’s supposed to slide on from one end? So I begin to slide it on and quickly realize
that is NOT how it’s supposed to go on because now I’ve just peeled the
frosting off the top of the cake!!
Guilt, remorse, kicking myself for being a moron (I’m on a
roll today).
Since the desserts are unidentified I don’t know who made it
so I send a message out to the whole office admitting that I’m the fiend who
hosed up the frosting on the cake. I
offer to eat any and all damaged pieces as penance for my sin.
I did vote for that cake, and not out of guilt, but because,
HOLY CRAP! It was delicious!
 |
| my lunch |
Now it's over. I'm sitting here with a naked face. IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!
Happy Halloween!
From the unzipped moron.
