Guess what I'm doing? I'll give you a hint...it's what I do most of the time lately. I'm doing nothing. I'm sitting here at work bored out of my fucking mind again!!!
I need the money so here I sit. I hate what I do for a living sometimes. The past few days of work I have hated intensely. I wish I could quit and go find something more fulfilling. I feel like the invisible woman around here. At least I make good money to sit here and dick off most of the day. I feel like a whore in a way. Selling my life for money.
Ok, that was really, really negative. It's honestly how I feel right now but that was really, really negative. I need to try to improve my mood now since I'll possibly get a downer in the mail from the Park office today.
Last Friday I was drinking at the neighbor's and they told me the park had been by to inspect my house that day. So the requirements for the Certificate of Compliance should be imminent! On the one hand I'm excited to finally get it and get some answers and on the other hand I expect it will be depressing to actually see everything they expect me to do to my house in order to sell it on the lot.
I forgot my gum at home dammit. I really would like minty fresh breath. Not gonna get it today. Sigh.
Geez! I wonder if I even want to blog about my house? I probably should since it's stressing me out. I got a valuation notice from the county on Friday. THAT was depressing!! They valued it at around $10K if I understood it correctly. REALLY?? I think that's total bullshit! But on the flip side, my taxes are lower because of it. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that it really needs a paint job and new windows! See, I found a silver lining :) I doubt they drive by to look at it tho. Probably some sort of table they use and has nothing to do with my actual house. So my silver lining is probably a puff of imaginary smoke.
I'm thinning out my stuff at home. I feel good about that! Made some good progress yesterday in my bedroom closet. Would have gotten more done if I hadn't have spent the majority of Saturday recovering from a mini-hangover that made my ass drag. Oh well. Another silver lining...not so interested in having any alcohol any time soon. The memories of the nagging headache and twisting guts are too fresh. Maybe it was the eggs? I ate a lot of eggs on Sat. but I also had beer, whiskey-sours and limoncello shots on Fri. night so probably a combo deal.
1.5 hrs left of torture, I mean work, to go! Maybe I'll bake banana bread when I get home tonight. Something to ponder.
I could freak out pretty easy today. I'm bored, restless and irritable. I'm stressed. I'm onery. I'm sure you thought I was a ray of sunshine but you couldn't be more wrong! In order to get it all straight in my head I'm going to outline all of the stuff that is stressing me out:
> My dog, Bruiser, has been having accidents more often than not lately. It's now more normal to come home to a poopy mess than not to. He seems to be having tummy problems despite the fact that I have him on a prescription bland food diet. This worries me. At least he appears to be happy enough. He's always been lazy and that hasn't changed. He has moments where he is pesty and barks at me and bounces around. His appetite is good. If he was sick, this wouldn't be the case. I don't want to deal with having him put down but lately it's appearing that I may have to deal with this sooner rather than later. Maybe. I hope not. I love my stinky wee beastie!! My Mom wants to take him if I end up doing open houses to sell my house. I think she wants to take him permanently. She loves him too. I have to think about that. I don't know if I'm ready to give him up, tho I know my mother would probably take better care of him than I have and I know he'd be very loved. But it's hard to think of giving him up. At least not as bad as putting him down. Some hard stuff coming my way with my pup.
> I need to sell my house this summer. That probably is enough said. It's a stressful thing to do. I've lived there 14 yrs (I found paperwork when I was thinning stuff out yesterday and can confirm 14 yrs). While I'm excited to move the prospect of selling my home is daunting to me. I've never done it before for starters. I have to fight with myself constantly to keep from panicking that it won't sell and that I'll be trapped in Minnesota for another year. Or more.
> I need money. Ok - I'm trying to sell my house and realized that when I sell my house I need money for a deposit on an apartment. Where is this money going to come from?? At the moment that is a mystery to me. It's also a major concern.
> I'm moving to UT once the house is sold... in a year, when my lease is up. I have work stuff to deal with before I go. I'm excited to move to UT and live with Ken. I'm also scared to death to leave my family, friends and work to do it. And it hurts to think of leaving all these people I love and not being able to see them when I want to.
> I don't know what my job situation will be. Given the economy, that is another big stress factor. At the moment I have a job, even tho I'm far from loving it. It pays good money and the people are very nice to work with. My main problem with it is the utter boredom I suffer on a regular basis. But starting over in a new situation is a scary concept.
That's just the stuff flying around in my head at this moment. There's more if I dare to let myself think but I'm trying to avoid doing that any more than is necessary.
I am unable to end this all light and fluffy. I still have an hour and 10 minutes before I'm set free from my prison, I mean work.
