Thursday, December 29, 2011

2012 Resolutions

I have two resolutions for this coming year.
#1 Lose some weight before my 30th class reunion coming up in July.
I have my work cut out for me with this. I think I may even embarrass myself by posting my weekly weight-ins here and writing about what I'm doing to accomplish this goal. I doubt it will be inspiring but hopefully it'll be successful!
I lost a bunch of weight a while ago but have managed to gain most of it back. I'd hoped to manage it better than I have but now I have work to do again. I love to bake and I love to eat!! Not a great combination for someone who gains weight just by thinking about it! Healthy food can be really tasty but it just isn't the same.
Losing weight is such a mind game for me. When I did it the last time it was because I wanted to get laid. Yes, I said that! I was going to put myself back into the dating pool again. Was hoping for love but sex was something I wanted even more than that. I'm in my prime and the lack of good, groaning, sweaty sex was driving me bat shit! Bad age to be single! I figured I'd better improve my looks if I wanted some attention and it worked even better than planned!
I had more attention than I knew what to do with! And I remembered why I hate dating. REALLY HATE DATING!! It gets hard to take after a while. I had to take regular breaks from it to keep from wanting to...I don't know. I wish I would have blogged about those adventures! I was keeping a journal back then but it's on the risque side to post here.
I don't date anymore. Whew! I have met a man I am crazy about! I met him on facebook of all places! An ex-classmate that I never hung out with back in the day. I bet we never said 2 words to each other when we were kids. We had nothing in common then and wouldn't have known what to do with each other anyway. Well I know what to do with him now!
Back to the mind game point I started making...when I lost weight last time it was to get laid. This was a HUGE motivator for me! Now, the motivator is to try to avoid having my old classmates say "she really let herself go". Sadly that's not a great motivator for me. I've made a habit of not caring a whole lot about what others think about me, unless it impedes me getting something I want. What do I want from my classmates? Well, if I don't succeed at this weight loss plan I want them to keep their "she really let herself go" comments amongst themselves...I do not want to hear it! They can say it (they will even without my permission) but shush please when it comes to me! If I do succeed then I don't want anything but the pleasure of seeing them all again!
BF says he doesn't care about my weight and encourages me to eat. He gets disappointed if I eat boring food. He is no help with weight loss. So somehow I have to convince myself that losing weight is necessary for something I want (see the problem?) and this has to stick for months to come for me to have success.
I'm thinking that shame might work. If I record my efforts here, in public, it could help me stick to my plan. Worth a shot!
#2 Become a renter instead of a homeowner.
This one can potentially take a lot of work and money. I live in a mobile home and have heard rumors that the park office is trying to get rid of older homes like mine, unless they are upgraded. But I have a game plan.
This spring I will talk to the park office and get the scoop on what the real story is. Find out if I need to side the house and put new windows on it before it'll be allowed to stay in the park.
Next step is to talk to a realtor. If the park demands that improvements be made then I need to find out from the realtor what my options are. If I make the improvements, can I sell the home for enough to get my money back so can pay off the loans? Or should I leave it as is, have it hauled off the lot and let someone buy it cheap and fix it up the way they want it? There are a lot of possibilities to be considered.
One way or another I intend to get my house sold. It's a step in my master plan!
I gave away about half a houseful of furniture the beginning of December! I'm thinning out my life/stuff. It feels better than I thought it would! I have my bedroom and my kitchen intact (well some stuff has been given away from the kitchen) and my recliner and TV/stand in the living room. Not much else. I want to get my belongings down to a single truck load so I still have some work to do. It is almost like being dead and parceling out your belongings to loved ones. This is my preview of what I'll miss out on when I'm actually dead!
I figure these 2 subjects will give me enough to write about in the coming year.