Tomorrow is it.
Today is going better than yesterday so far. I'm not having panic attacks. I feel sad and calm mostly. I'm bracing myself for tomorrow. I want to do well by him. Dogs feed off our energy so I want my energy to be calm and comforting for him. It's going to be a challenge but that's my goal. I can go to pieces after. Before I need to keep a grip if it's possible. I really hope it is.
Tonight it should be just Bruiser and me at home again. For the last time. I intend to fuss over him a bit. Going to give him a bath so he gets perked up for a bit and feels nice. He likes being clean. I'm going to let him eat a lot. If his eyes look ok I won't put meds in them. And he's going to get some Alpo snackies just because.
All these years it's been nice having him in the house. Especially after all the kids moved out. He was good company. It was nice to have someone be happy to see me at the end of the day. I was happy to see him! He's so stinking cute!
In recent years it's been nice to have his company even if he mostly slept. At least there was someone else there. It wasn't just me.
I don't expect to spend a lot of the rest of my life alone now. My life is changing. I have Lacey & Penelope with me now. I plan to eventually sell the house and start a life with Ken so I will have him to spend my days with. I won't spend weeks/months alone anymore. Which is nice. But I'm so glad Bruiser was there when I was living like that. That was nice :)
He has been a great family dog!! He was so funny and gentle with the kids. He was robust enough that he could rough house with them but small enough so they could cuddle him like a baby. When they were still living at home you'd hear how he was the cutest dog in the whole world about a hundred times a day and then he'd be squeezed and snuggled and adored. We've all had it pretty good!
He was renowned for his laziness. He would sit down during sock tug-of-war battles. You could do most anything to him while he laid there and as long as it didn't hurt he'd go limp and let you. That was pretty amusing sometimes! If he got tired during a walk he'd lay down. Short of dragging him by the neck, you'd get to carry him from there.
He never learned to play fetch. Bruiser is a natural born tease. You'd throw his toy, he'd run to get it and then try to lure you into chasing him to get it from him. He simply would not play normal fetch! EVER! That concept flew in the face of his basic personality!
He doesn't like things poking his feet. I remember taking him for walks and he'd gingerly hop over crab grass growing in the cracks of the sidewalks. I tried taking him into a field to run. I'd done that with all my other dogs and they loved it. Well, Bruiser didn't love it. He sat down and refused to so much as walk! I had to finally give up and carry him back to the car.
Bruiser likes the life of luxury. He is picky about his food. It's been hard over the years to get him to switch dog foods. I've been successful but sometimes he'd go for days without eating because it wasn't the right food in his dish. He loves to be snuggled in his bed with fresh sheets. He prefers inside to outside most of the time. There were many times when I'd have him out with me while I worked in the yard and he'd sit at the top of the stairs crying to go inside.
Bruiser doesn't like to be messed with. If you do, you will hear, loudly, about his unhappiness! I have been told not to bring him back to a couple of grooming places. He has embarrassed me by howling over a toenail trim so loudly that you could hear him in the front of the store. He has carried on so badly at the vets that they've been sure something must be horribly wrong with him. I have to reassure them that he's just a drama queen and he's actually fine. He cries thru baths and haircuts and toenail trims. Vet visits...put him down and he runs for the door. Let's just say he isn't fond of the vet :) They mess with him too much and that's not tolerable!
I'll be messing with him tonight. Hopefully he won't mind it too much! It's my last chance so I plan to enjoy it!
