Friday, April 10, 2015

Car Hunters: Utah


Ken and Glenna are in the market for a new car.  They experienced a recent tragedy when Ken’s beloved Pontiac Grand Prix was totaled in an accident when a chair fell out of some idiot’s truck on the highway and caused collisions in an effort to avoid hitting the chair.  After a long and miserable few months trying to settle with some bad insurance companies they are finally ready to find a replacement vehicle.

The dealer is going to have his hands full as they have some differing views on what they want in a car. 

Ken is an very tall man and likes a lot of room in his cars.  He has a giant son to haul to various sports activities and requires space for equipment and spare boys who need rides.  His giant son will be getting his license soon so he has to consider insurance costs also.  He would be the primary driver as Glenna’s tiny Honda Civic coupe is a manual stick (he has bad knees) and is just plain tiny.  He isn’t afraid of car repairs since his father taught him some auto mechanics and he knows how to DIY many needed repairs himself.  He doesn’t like white cars.  He can be stubborn.

Glenna is a numbers person.  She reads reviews…longevity reviews, consumer reviews, to try to get an idea of the best cars that will give her the best deals with the bank.  She feels it’s a delicate balance and she has hedged out many options in her search for the brands that will give her the deal she wants.  In other words, she’s a brand snob when it comes to cars…her very favorites are Hondas and Toyotas.  She has even blackmailed people into buying those brand names (for their own good, in her opinion) if they needed her to co-sign a loan.  She can be stubborn.

Glenna is also not crazy about white cars but will tolerate the color if the other variables are good.

The dealer comes up with a Nissan Altima first.  It has low mileage and runs smoothly.  It’s very comfortable and the price is good.  It’s white.  They joke that they could name it Casper the friendly ghost to try to take the edge off the irritating whiteness.  Glenna had previously approved Nissans as an option because of advice from friends (Ken won that debate) but she does not like that it’s not a Toyota or a Honda (continuing brand snob issues – though she might consider it because it’s a really nice car…maybe) so they decide to look at a couple more.

Next he presents them with a Honda CR-V.  This one is hitting most of the points for both Glenna and Ken.  In fact Glenna is dancing with joy over it being a Honda AND a CR-V!  She loves CR-V’s!  She imagines driving it in the mountains with camping gear in the back.  There is plenty of room in the vehicle for kid/equipment hauling though Ken isn’t crazy about driving what he sort of considers a minivan.  Since he’s the main driver he’s not so sure about this though he does admit he likes it.  It’s over-budget but has low mileage so it would last a long time but would require them coming up with more money than they’d planned. 

Finally, the dealer presents them with a Ford Taurus.  These are rare cars as apparently their owners never don’t want to part with them and Ford doesn’t make enough of them.  Ken and Glenna would have to act quickly if this is the car they want.  Glenna will accept it because it’s highly rated on longevity lists despite the fact that it’s not a Honda or a Toyota.  Ken likes how spacious it is and its style (similar in scale to his totaled Grand Prix).  He’s already imagining taking his son to his next LaCrosse tournament in it and there are luxury options that aren't available in the other cars.  Glenna can tell he really likes it because he’s mentally test-moving in.  If he sets his heart on this one and she doesn’t, she knows it could be stressful.  The problem is its higher mileage than they like BUT it’s below budget.  Is it worth it with the high miles?  Will the car outlast the length of the loan??

So which will they choose? 

The Altima aka Casper the Friendly Ghost?

The over-budget CR-V?

Or the under-budget, high mileage Taurus?

Time for Ken and Glenna to go to some random bar and drink cocktails and make a decision whilst under the influence of alcohol.  (Just following the show format – don’t hate.)

<cut to commercial>

Audience loses interest and changes channels.