Bruiser wants me to chase him...what great timing! Well I'll take a minute and do that...doesn't take much to wear him out! Wait...while I typed this he forgot about chase and just laid down. I love this old dog!
Started this entry this AM, was distracted by Bruiser, went cupcake shopping but now I'm back on point now...
I sometimes suck at staying focused.
I suck at dressing myself.
It's a problem. Here are some samples. One day, after I got to work I looked down and realized I was wearing 2 different shoes. For real!! I stayed at my desk A LOT that day!
I can't tell you how many times I get to work, have to use the restroom, look in the mirror and realize I have a stain on the front of my shirt or that I can see my black panties thru my light colored slacks. Or that I realize how badly the color scheme I'm wearing clashes.
I am capable of dressing nicely, I just tend not to focus on it when I'm trying to get out the door in the AM and sometimes it ends up being embarrassing! I've often thought I'd be a great candidate for that TV show "What Not to Wear".
I suck at dieting.
I promised myself I'd stop with the fat comments recently because I'm beginning to bore myself with them. I figure if I don't like it I need to do something about it and stop running on about it. BUT I do suck at dieting. As soon as I think of dieting I want cake. Or something decadent and fattening. And I seem to be able to make myself behave for 2-3 days usually and then reward myself with something fattening and decadent. And that's all I'm going to say about this.
AND WHY DOES BRUISER START WHINING AT ME EVERY DAMNED TIME I SIT DOWN TO BLOG??? I mean he was just napping. I was watching You Tube and he was ignoring me. Then I get busy typing and here he is...groaning and whining but does he want out? No...who knows what the fuck he wants!! Annoying. JS
Ok, I just finished lunch and was all set to taste test my cayenne pepper cupcake from Nadia Cupcakes but thought I should take it into the kitchen for some better light so I could take a picture of it and post it here and make you all jealous. Then I dropped it on the rug. Yup. Frosting side down, on the rug.
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| pitiful isn't it? |
Anyway, back to things I suck at.
AFTER I get some honey mead because I deserve it because I dropped my cupcake on the rug. I did taste a bit of the cake before I tossed it...not as good as the Mexican Hot Chocolate cupcake from Cupcake, but it did give some heat. (If I was at the Renaissance Festival no one would think anything bad about me having honey mead right after lunch. Think about that before you judge.)
Now, things I suck at...drinking honey mead apparently because I just breathed it down my wind pipe and am hacking up a lung. This is a rough little patch here!
I suck at jogging.
The other day I felt inspired to jog again. Then I got up to walk to the lady's room and my left knee was hurting and my right ankle didn't want to bend like it should and my back was aching. So I started thinking that maybe instead I should go get some jogging clothes and then I could jog tomorrow because it was sort of warm to bundle up for jogging...like almost 40. Still haven't gotten my jogging clothes. Also my version of jogging is more of a zombie shuffle while my face turns red as a beet and I pant like I'm dying. You can read about my last foray below. Maybe I should get a bike?
Is that enough for you people? Ok, here's some more!
Sometimes I suck at baking. BAD! Hard to believe this, I know, but it's true!
When I was a kid I tried to bake my grandma's red velvet cake. Twice. Because the first time it didn't rise and weighed a ton. The second attempt didn't work any better. So I tried to make the best of it and put them all together and frosted them and they looked really nice. Until my Mom lifted the plate and was shocked at the impressive weight of the thing! It didn't taste right either! In fact it tasted really weird! I have not attempted that recipe since. It scares me.
And that other time where I offered to help a co-worker out by baking a pumpkin pie for him to take to a family/friend gathering for Thanksgiving. And didn't realize that I hadn't added spices until we tried my pie at our family Turkey Day festivities. Let's just say it was rather awful! As in inedible. I not only did I have to face my family with this awful pie I had to face my co-worker the following Monday when he wanted to know why I secretly hated him since I would send him to a gathering with an inedible pumpkin pie like that!
Oh I just remembered Lacey's graduation cake!! That was was an awesome blunder! I baked her a lemon poke cake and poured lemon pudding all over it to soak into the holes. Then I frosted it with a pretty yellow frosting and decorated it with lettering and a graduation cap all done in black icing. Done freehand by yours truly! Wrapped it up to take to the celebration. Set up the taco bar, decorated, etc. Then uncovered the cake. The frosting had melted! Because of the pudding layer, all the frosting was in a pool of yellow and black smeared frosting around the base of the cake! It looked hideous! We hid it back in the kitchen and a few of us ate it anyway and it was delicious. It wasn't fit for human eyes but luckily the flavor redeemed it and we have a good memory out of the fiasco!
I suck at dog grooming.
My dog is partly to blame for this one. When he was a pup I took him to several groomers and when I'd come to pick him up they'd tell me not to bring him back because he bites and they couldn't keep a muzzle on his apparently weird shaped jaws. So I decided to learn to groom him myself. I bought clippers and even got a video on how to do the job. I watched intently. It showed how you tie their leash up so that they stay put. I was stoked to try this! I tried it on Bruiser and he pretty much strangled himself.
They showed me a trick of how if you lift the back leg closest to you, you can buzz the hair on the inside of the far leg because they'd have to stand there since they only had one leg left to stand on. Seemed pretty clever and I couldn't wait to try it!
I lifted Bruiser's right leg. He lifted his left leg leaving his rear end dangling by the leg I was holding in my hand. There was no leg available for me to buzz.
Not ONE of the tricks/techniques in that video worked because they weren't buzzing a Bruiser. So now I get someone to hold him down and I buzz him down so short you can see the freckles on his skin. He looks pretty stupid for a couple of weeks until it grows back in but that's what happens when you have an impossible pain in the ass for a dog and a poorly skilled dog groomer.
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| can you see his freckles? |
I think that's enough admissions for one day. I hope you all feel better about yourselves. I need to go do some laundry and be productive. For a short while anyway.
I mostly plan to goof around with my brother and sister playing World of Warcraft in a while...that's the real truth. I'm going to be a little productive but mostly this day is set aside to goof off with my siblings. Who rock and who already know really well how bad I can suck at things!! In fact, I'll probably suck at WoW with my mediocre boomkin but I love her and them and it'll be fun even so.
