At this moment I am content.
I just looked over at the couch and Ken is snoring away on it.
He's wearing his traditional shorts, t-shirt (belly showing as he sleeps) and black socks. Still has his glasses on but I don't want to disturb him to take them off. He's been cutting down on caffeine, trying to be healthier, so he is tired.
I look at him and listen to him snoring and think how much I love him. It's calm and solid. It used to be the excitement and all that jazz, in the early days. It still has its moments but now, most of the time, it has evolved into something solid, calm and steady that I can live with. Something I can no longer imagine living without.
I'm not failing with him if I'm just myself. I don't have to hide anything or pretend to be anything that I'm not. The good, the bad and the ugly are all parts of me and accepted. Fat or skinny. Young(er) or old. Bitchy or snarky. It's ok.
And that goes back at him. He can be exactly what he is, feel whatever he feels and that's perfect for me.
Except when he feels bad. I don't like that.
He makes me smile every day without any effort that I can discern.
Life is good with this man. 😍
Friday, March 3, 2017
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Lightweight
In spite of the previous comments (which I erased because I felt like it - it's my blog and I can do what I want), it happens that I like Utah! It has it's weird parts but so did Minnesota, in another direction, and same with North Dakota in another. There is no perfect state. BUT Utah has some spectacular scenery!
Every day when I'm out and about I'm admiring the light here. The way it hits the mountains is often spectacular! Utah has a talent for sating my senses with natural beauty. I'll forgive it's stupid quirks (like the Zion wall).
I went snowshoeing with a pal for the first time last weekend! That is a hell of a full body work out!!!
Before I went I was worried about walking funny and the strain it might put on my hips. I imagined something a bit different than the reality. I blame movie westerns. Modern snowshoes are not like that.
The reality was educational. I loved how easy it was to put them onto my snowboots! I expected to be fainting from bending over (not my best position since my belly is currently rather large and that makes breathing hard when I'm curled up). Only took me a few minutes! I figured maybe this wouldn't be half bad. (I am a marshmallow after all, who has some illusions about my physical capabilities.)
Started walking. I was sinking down farther than I'd expected. And hauling a bunch of snow (like a shovel full) per step. Probably because of the enlarged belly I mentioned earlier. I DID have to walk a bit funny but was still feeling pretty good that I didn't have to walk as funny as I thought I might have to.
We decided to go off road and hike down a trail that someone else had broken. Didn't take long to discover that your feet/knees/etc end up in odd positions when snowshoeing down hill! Normally you can lean back on your heels. In snowshoes, you can try to lean back on your heels but you're basically going to just feel really fucking awkward and hope you don't fall on your face!
Oh, and turning sideways is an adventure. Try it! You haven't lived until you try a hard turn in snowshoes!
We made it into some pretty snow. It was stuck on the trees and everything looked so pretty!!
We found a stream and critter tracks (some fat critter with stubby legs).
Then Tammie (my more athletic friend) and I got the bright idea to break our own trail! Huzzah!! Well, we did get an education in how hard it is to break your own trail when you're (I'm) out of shape and shoveling a path with every step you take! It didn't take long until our faces were red and we were gasping in an embarrassing way (well I was and it gave Tammie an excuse to take a breather herself).
Tammie decided to kneel since we were afraid if we laid down in the snow we'd never be able to get back up. Let me tell you that based on Tammie's experience, kneeling in snowshoes is NOT a good idea unless you have a friend to help you get up. Turns out snowshoes don't like it when you do anything but stand and they make getting out of any other position a real challenge. I'll admit I laughed at her! Quite a bit!! But I refrained from taking pictures. Why? I'm questioning that to this day. You'll just have to enjoy imagining it yourself. Moral of this story: stay upright when wearing snowshoes no matter how bad you want to kneel or lie down to take a break!
We saw some gorgeous views! We made it to a picnic table and of course I had to sit down. This ended up being a bad idea since my ass was apparently boiling hot and melted the ice to the point where it looked like I peed my pants when I stood up.
By this point I was starting to get worried. My groin was complaining about hauling shovelfuls of snow around with every step. Damned groin was making a strong point that it was getting to be time to knock this shit off!
So I pussied out and opted for what appeared to be the most direct and, we assumed, gentlest climb back up to the Jeep. What followed would have been more embarrassing if Tammie wasn't such a good sport! I have mild asthma and had challenged the shit out of it with this adventure. It reminded me every few steps up that hill that I am a marshmallow.
I did the same thing when I tried to climb a switchback in Yellowstone years ago. My kids were running back and forth, up and down the path, wondering why it was taking me so long. BECAUSE I'M A WUSSY MARSHMALLOW THAT'S WHY!!!
I learned that snowshoeing works your arms too. I had poles and was using the crap out of them. My arms were freaking tired from snowshoeing! That was not a side effect I'd expected at all. Why? I don't know. Because I don't know everything. Yet.
Sigh. But at least I was out there doing it! I was having fun too! I had good company and beautiful scenery. I was getting exercise so I could later go home, curl up with the kitty and watch girl movies without guilt (not that I suffer much guilt from doing that but still).
Tho, when I finally made it to the top and took those snowshoes off and felt like pirouetting (my groin would have had a spasm if I'd tried but I really did kinda want to), I realized that part of the fun of snowshoeing is being DONE with snowshoeing!
Then we saw a moose! I haven't seen a moose in the wild for a few years so that was a sweet bonus! Tammie said she could have snowshoed all day. That would have killed me. Seriously. I would have caved and laid down in the snow and waited for a copter to come take me to the hospital. But I'm glad I did it and I'll probably do it again.
It's like labor. You feel so good when it's over with that you tend to whitewash the parts that weren't super fun...but the scenery, the shared suffering and laughing at Tammie stuck on her knees in the snow was pretty damned funny!
Every day when I'm out and about I'm admiring the light here. The way it hits the mountains is often spectacular! Utah has a talent for sating my senses with natural beauty. I'll forgive it's stupid quirks (like the Zion wall).
I went snowshoeing with a pal for the first time last weekend! That is a hell of a full body work out!!!
Before I went I was worried about walking funny and the strain it might put on my hips. I imagined something a bit different than the reality. I blame movie westerns. Modern snowshoes are not like that.
The reality was educational. I loved how easy it was to put them onto my snowboots! I expected to be fainting from bending over (not my best position since my belly is currently rather large and that makes breathing hard when I'm curled up). Only took me a few minutes! I figured maybe this wouldn't be half bad. (I am a marshmallow after all, who has some illusions about my physical capabilities.)
Started walking. I was sinking down farther than I'd expected. And hauling a bunch of snow (like a shovel full) per step. Probably because of the enlarged belly I mentioned earlier. I DID have to walk a bit funny but was still feeling pretty good that I didn't have to walk as funny as I thought I might have to.
We decided to go off road and hike down a trail that someone else had broken. Didn't take long to discover that your feet/knees/etc end up in odd positions when snowshoeing down hill! Normally you can lean back on your heels. In snowshoes, you can try to lean back on your heels but you're basically going to just feel really fucking awkward and hope you don't fall on your face!
Oh, and turning sideways is an adventure. Try it! You haven't lived until you try a hard turn in snowshoes!
We made it into some pretty snow. It was stuck on the trees and everything looked so pretty!!
 |
| This is fucking beautiful!!! |
 |
| Poor stubby little dude! Just look at these tracks! If my junk was under my belly I would totally hate that!! I'd probably never be able to procreate because my junk got frostbite! |
Tammie decided to kneel since we were afraid if we laid down in the snow we'd never be able to get back up. Let me tell you that based on Tammie's experience, kneeling in snowshoes is NOT a good idea unless you have a friend to help you get up. Turns out snowshoes don't like it when you do anything but stand and they make getting out of any other position a real challenge. I'll admit I laughed at her! Quite a bit!! But I refrained from taking pictures. Why? I'm questioning that to this day. You'll just have to enjoy imagining it yourself. Moral of this story: stay upright when wearing snowshoes no matter how bad you want to kneel or lie down to take a break!
We saw some gorgeous views! We made it to a picnic table and of course I had to sit down. This ended up being a bad idea since my ass was apparently boiling hot and melted the ice to the point where it looked like I peed my pants when I stood up.
By this point I was starting to get worried. My groin was complaining about hauling shovelfuls of snow around with every step. Damned groin was making a strong point that it was getting to be time to knock this shit off!
So I pussied out and opted for what appeared to be the most direct and, we assumed, gentlest climb back up to the Jeep. What followed would have been more embarrassing if Tammie wasn't such a good sport! I have mild asthma and had challenged the shit out of it with this adventure. It reminded me every few steps up that hill that I am a marshmallow.
I did the same thing when I tried to climb a switchback in Yellowstone years ago. My kids were running back and forth, up and down the path, wondering why it was taking me so long. BECAUSE I'M A WUSSY MARSHMALLOW THAT'S WHY!!!
I learned that snowshoeing works your arms too. I had poles and was using the crap out of them. My arms were freaking tired from snowshoeing! That was not a side effect I'd expected at all. Why? I don't know. Because I don't know everything. Yet.
Sigh. But at least I was out there doing it! I was having fun too! I had good company and beautiful scenery. I was getting exercise so I could later go home, curl up with the kitty and watch girl movies without guilt (not that I suffer much guilt from doing that but still).
Tho, when I finally made it to the top and took those snowshoes off and felt like pirouetting (my groin would have had a spasm if I'd tried but I really did kinda want to), I realized that part of the fun of snowshoeing is being DONE with snowshoeing!
Then we saw a moose! I haven't seen a moose in the wild for a few years so that was a sweet bonus! Tammie said she could have snowshoed all day. That would have killed me. Seriously. I would have caved and laid down in the snow and waited for a copter to come take me to the hospital. But I'm glad I did it and I'll probably do it again.
It's like labor. You feel so good when it's over with that you tend to whitewash the parts that weren't super fun...but the scenery, the shared suffering and laughing at Tammie stuck on her knees in the snow was pretty damned funny!
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