To clarify, PMS stands for PRE-mentrual syndrome! PRE being the operative word! This is the time before Auntie Flo comes to visit, when you become moody/snarly, can eat endlessly and never be full, you bloat (could it be from the incessant eating?) and you cramp and your boobs get bigger and get sore and your clothes get tight and you retain water like a mo-fo. Some months I actually look forward to Aunt Flo's visit! When AF shows up I relax...almost to a puddle state and become human again. Aside from peeing out all the fluids you previously retained (imagine trips to the bathroom every 5 fucking minutes), it's that time before AF shows up that can be so, so NOT fun!
This weekend I wasn't fit to be around people and mostly managed to keep to myself. I was in snarly, bitchy mode. I watched Seven Psychopaths and then went on an unpublished rant about the psychos I know. Well, it was published for a few minutes and then I took it back. Because I think I came off a little psycho.
My daughters were allowed into my circle of trust because they are also suffering with the dreaded PMS <reverb>. Apparently my granddaughters have it too because when their Mom came over to visit, the girls started in on their "I want" lists and high drama ensued! Lots of "MOM!" "MOM!" "MOM!" and sobbing dramatically and stomping around. Lee (my daughter) and I caught each others eye over my granddaughter's head (I'd been hunkering down hoping the drama would miss me) and read each others minds in an instant. We both thought "WTF?????" with a little side of "kill me now please!" thrown in for good measure. Then the beer began to flow. Well, a couple beers worth anyway since we aren't all that fond of hang-overs or peeing all night. Couple days later my daughter Lacey came for a visit, bringing chocolate cake to celebrate my belated b'day and soothe our raging hormones. It worked! Had some laughs, danced with Penelope and commiserated on how is sucks to be a girl sometimes.
Then came the dreaded MONDAY. Seriously! I was dreading damned Monday on Sunday, all day long! I even posted this picture as my profile pic as a dark omen of what was to come. (Maybe I cursed myself?)
Got to work and found that my front office co-workers were BOTH out sick...with the freaking plague from the sound of it! I hope we aren't in for round 2 of the flu bug at work. I got off pretty light last time and thought I was safe. Dammit!! Anyway, this meant that I'd need to cover phones, figure out where the mailbox was (new building/office, etc) and make checks as needed. Also felt compelled to stay until the doors automatically locked at 5 since it felt a bit vulnerable leaving the place with no one up front to take deliveries, hold off the barbarians and what not.
Ok. Doing fine so far at this point. Was too busy to empty the dishwasher so left it full of clean dishes. Figured someone else would take care of that. Sat down to work on submitting some invoices to a client through their software per their request. Our project manager was on the road so got him to send me his password and got into the program. Figured out how to upload them and felt pretty proud of myself! Chased around after this and that. I was taking care of business!
Got an email from the client that I'd submitted the invoices incorrectly. He sent me a 44 page booklet on how to do this. (sound of head hitting desk here) I tried to follow the instructions but the stuff I was supposed to see and select was sadly absent. I DID NOT want to call the client again to ask for help. I felt like an idiot but I didn't want to let him in on that. I was fighting back tears! This is where PMS can sometimes kick me in the balls, if I had any. It makes stuff that normally wouldn't phase me, into something that brings on waterworks and makes me want to run home and crawl into bed and hide! I decided to take a lunch break (aka mental health break) and get back at it after.
After lunch I took my dirty dishes into the lunch room to put them in the dishwasher. The dishwasher was still full and the sink was now full of dirty dishes. I grumbled mentally and started to unload the clean dishes. Then I discovered that not only had they not emptied the clean dishes, they'd put their dirty dishes in with the clean dishes AND left a pile in the sink to boot! Damn! I forgot that I was the fucking maid that day!
It took me a while but I got myself under control finally. Well, maybe not "under control"...what I did was vent to my girlfriend that I was going to update my resume and start job hunting in some very colorful language! It sort of helped. Until I tried the client's software again. After fighting back tears, I called the director of the company to see if he had experience with the software because I was tired of looking like boob in front of our client! I needed someone to save me! Luckily this was a good move because the ID I was using didn't have access to the data I was looking for! We finally got it rolling, the invoices got uploaded AND approved! I toddled out the door at 5. I made it! I didn't cry at work! (mostly)
Got home late and was rewarded by a nasty odor when I opened the front door. Bruiser had crapped all over the place. Kind of expected that since he doesn't tolerate my lateness well but as icing on the cake of my work day, it sucked! So I got busy cleaning up the mess and using some Pine Sol to clean and freshen the air. While I was doing this, Bruiser began to barf. They act kind of like a cat getting ready to toss up a hairball. It's not nice! I grabbed him and made a run for the front door and only ended up spreading the "joy" around on the carpet during our mad dash. Lucky for me I already was in cleaning mode!
After the air was fresh enough that I could tolerate it, I ate the rest of the chocolate b'day cake cause dammit! I earned it!! From what I hear from my friends on facebook, that may have contributed to my dreaming of taking bears tire shopping at Wal-mart.
