Lemonizing Ree's Sugar Biscuits

A couple weeks ago I tested one of Ree Drummond's recipes, Sugar Biscuits.  They were lovely, sweet buttery little iced biscuits.  Really yummy!  I woke up this morning, pining for sugar biscuits.  Sadly there were none to be had.  So it's baking time again!

Here the link to the recipe   http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2013/01/sugar-biscuits/


Ree suggests an option of adding lemon zest/juice to change up the flavors a bit. She suggested some others but read her blog to find out which...they also sound delicious.  I happen to LOVE baking with lemons so decided to bake some lemony ones up today!

Ignore my mixer...I never used it.  Here are the dry ingredients, "sifted".  I don't have a sifter so I used my wire whisk.  Works fine!

I decided to use 2 lemons.  Make sure you wash them before you zest them.  Stores put wax on them and you really don't want wax in your biscuits.

Zested lemons...ta da! If you haven't zested a lemon before, just be sure not to file away into the white part just under the surface.  That is bitter.  You just want the thin outer layer.  When I was doing this my house was full of lemony smells.  Part of the reason I LOVE baking with lemons!  They bring me joy...they smell good, they look pretty and they taste so yummy!

2 sticks of butter cubed.  That's where that lovely buttery flavor comes from!  Make sure the butter is cold.  If the butter melts it loses it's ability to make your dough light and fluffy.  I've made puff pastry before and the key is to keep the butter from melting as you work the dough and fold and fold.  Time consuming with all the stops to cool down but well worth it.  Same thing here, on a smaller, less anal scale.  

 Got my old pastry cutter out and ready to go to work!  I've had this little tool for oh, about 30 years now.  It's a well loved kitchen implement!

 The butter is cut into the dry ingredients.  It has a crumbly look. 

 Toss in the lemon zest...breath deep and enjoy that smell!

Add your heavy whipping cream...

 Stir it all up with a fork!  (I didn't need my mixer.  Sort of embarrassed that I dug it out and set it up.)

 Form dough into a ball.  Every time (both) that I've made these biscuits I've ended up adding more cream because I've found a bunch of flour when I start forming the dough into the ball.  It's a bit messy but hasn't seemed to affect flavors at all.  I try not to work the dough too much if I can help it.  My hands generate heat and I don't want to warm up the butter too much OR create too much gluten.  I want nice, light, melt in your mouth biscuits...not firm, chewy ones.

 Flour your surface and roll out your dough.  Keep it kind of thick. 

 Can you see the butter bits still showing in the rolled dough?  It's rather difficult to get a picture of it but you can see small butter pieces in the dough when you roll it out.  This is just what you want to see. 

 Biscuit cutter time!  You can place them fairly close together on the pan.  They don't spread out too much. 

They smelled so good when they were baking!!  I normally don't use a timer.  I typically bake by looks.  When they gained a slight golden color I pulled them out.  Last time I pulled them out when they were lighter and the less baked ones tended not to stand up to the frosting process as well.  These are delicate things!  I let them cool completely.  Went off to check facebook and wash dishes while I waited.

Next it's time for the glaze.  This part gets a little messy but if you're like me, you kind of like that!

Cut those lemons in half and juice the little buggers.  Once again, breathe deep and enjoy that lovely scent!

Once again, it turned out I didn't need the mixer for this either so please disregard the mixer!  Sigh.  I don't know why I keep expecting to use the mixer... 

Anyway, here's all the tasty ingredients for the icing...fresh squeezed lemon juice, 1% milk, vanilla, powdered sugar and a pinch of salt.  The recipe calls for whole milk, which I don't have.  1% will work fine.  Last time, since I had cream I thought I'd use that.  I needed a lot more cream than milk...it was quite thick!  I think it tasted a bit better so in the future I think I'll use cream.  This time I got just a bit under a 1/2 cup of lemon juice.  I added a 1/2 cup of milk and it came out with a decent consistency.  I'll get more into the importance of consistency in a few. 

 See?  No mixer!  The good old whisk does the trick!

 THIS is why consistency is so very important!  During my first attempt 2 weeks ago there were many casualties before I got the consistency right.  It needs to be fairly runny since the biscuits are delicate.  If it's too thick they are going to fall to pieces when you try to take them back out of the icing.  See the biscuit bits in that bowl?  Only lost 1 biscuit to this process this time!  And I ate it.  And it was delicious!!

If the icing is too thin, it will run off the biscuits.  Then just add some more powdered sugar to thicken it up a bit again.  Easy!

This is the messy/fun part!  Pick up each biscuit and dip the little bugger into that icing!  Hold it a little to let excess run off...

Set the iced biscuits on a wire rack, over a pan to catch drippings and allow the icing to set.  It takes a while.  I sampled some un-iced biscuits (the ones that didn't look like they'd survive icing) in the meantime and they were just as good as I remembered!  Light, buttery with a touch of lemon.  MMMMMM!!!

New office observations and duck lips...neither are good

First day in the new office!  Like how I gave it an exclamation point?  That's me, faking excitement. There are a few drawbacks to my new space.

1) There is a bathroom right next door and I can hear it flush and the hand dryer blow whenever it's used.  At least I haven't experienced any bad odors so I'll admit this could be worse.  I will take the long walk down the hall to use the public bathroom, thank you very much!  I passed the owner of the company coming back from that bathroom today...I'm not the only one that isn't fond of our new bathroom.  Plus it has a shower.  Really?  They think staff is going to shower right next to the reception area?  If they do, I hope they sing in the shower and entertain us all.

2)  I apparently don't move enough because my motion sensor lights turn off sometimes while I'm sitting there working.  I also get to experience my co-worker's office lights going on and off on a regular basis as they come and go.  It's a bit trippy!

3)  I have some new views worth mentioning.  First I'll mention what I had at the old office...large windows facing out to the street.  I could peep in at the neighbors across the way, watch the occasional red tailed hawk sit on the roof and just enjoy the sky.

Now I have a white wall to look at if I look away from my computer.  There's a LOT of white in the new office.  A LOT!

OR I can look out my door, into my new boss's office.  She doesn't like me.  Last time she was in town I think she said "hi" to me once. I think.  Maybe I imagined she did to make myself feel better.

The good thing is that she primarily works in TX so mostly it's just an empty office.  Bad thing, there will be no escaping her when she's here.  NO privacy at all!  She can give me the hairy eyeball all she wants and short of ducking under my desk there will be no escape! 

4)  I'm not seeing any places to put any family pictures.  Yet.

5)  It's a VERY sterile environment.  Today I noticed that my papers blended into the white desktop.  Like camouflage.  Never thought about white desktops but I have to say, now that I've had a smidgen of experience, I'm against them!  They also show every speck of dirt!  My mechanical pencil lead snapped off and landed on the desk.  I swept my hand over it to scoop it into the garbage and it left a nice gray smear.  I haven't bothered to run to the cleaning closet yet.  I think I'll live with it for a while.  Savor this gray smear on my white desk top.  It's like art according to the Walker Art Museum. It could actually go into the Walker Art Museum!  Last time I went there I realized I could take a crap in the corner and they'd probably fence it off and call it art.  I'm not a fan of the Walker because they put freeze dried dogs in the corner and rub rubber off tires (stinks!) and call it art.  I find that flatly insulting.  I've seen ART and that ain't ART.  It's crap! 

Now for my entertainment segment!  I'm going to post some pictures I took of myself this past weekend.  I'd decided it was time to update my profile picture on facebook so was taking some lovely self portraits.  NOT!  Actually, when I do this I take a bunch of pictures hoping I won't hate a few.  Most of them looked like crap.  I tend to get obnoxious in the process because when you look at bad picture after bad picture you (I) finally decide to embrace it.  So I tried to do duck lips.

This is my first try.  I think it's safe to say I don't know how to make a "sexy" pucker. 

 

I thought I'd try to suck in my cheeks like a model.  (I saw this technique on Zoolander.) This did NOT help!

I figured I'd try pooching out the upper lip.  Isn't this what the teeny boppers/20-somethings do?  Why is it so hard to make this look even marginally decent??  I look like someone punched me...or I don't know what.  It's just not good.  It's stupid.

After the dismal upper lip failure I tried pooching out both lips.  I looked like a guppy.  Or a younger, slightly more feminine version of Mick Jagger.  Or Goldie Hawn on First Wives Club after she had her lips done.  Basically, I looked stupid.  I don't know how to do duck lips.  I'm against duck lips because most people look stupid with them but I have learned that I look even more stupid doing it than most!  I'm still not going to admire those who can make them look sort of ok.  It's stupid looking.  I have proof.  Look at this picture!  IT'S STUPID LOOKING!!

I was really bored this weekend.  Not bored enough to be terribly motivated but bored enough to take duck lip pictures of myself.  In fact, I savored the boredom!  I rolled around in it like a dog rolls in garbage! 

Well, this was an interlude.  Time to brace myself to go back to my white, white office tomorrow.  Or just try to forget for a few hours and enjoy having some color around me.  I'm tempted to bring in some magic markers and do a little artwork on the wall to break the monotony. 

It's quiet tonight

My life is quiet
I sit, staring at the computer, waiting for something to change
Nothing does
I felt stabbed with fear yesterday
I wished you were here with me
Telling me everything will be ok

My life is soft
I roll thru my days, sometimes barely noticing
Everything stays the same
Then a sudden change and I worry
I find my core and get steady again
In the end, it doesn't matter
Let it go

I'm surrounded by people I barely know
Who barely know me
I feel like I'm watching a movie of myself
Staring out the window, waiting to be buried in minutiae
Not what I expected
I should have dreamt of more

I'm surrounded by people I love
Who love me
I feel more myself, full of joy and laughter
Then I'm alone again, life becomes quiet
A pause

I listen to the furnace blow
I hear the click of the keys as I type
The monitor looks back at me
I enjoy the quiet and let go of my worries
It's peaceful
Not ready to let go of it yet
 

Women in Combat

Decision to allow women in combat roles raises questions about draft

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/01/24/decision-to-allow-women-in-combat-roles-raises-questions-about-draft/#ixzz2Iv6s20fN

This is a tricky subject for me.

I never went into the military because I got knocked up fairly promptly out of high school and ended up in Mommy boot camp.

My brother joined the USAF and I think I would have enjoyed the military if I had joined.  I don't know if I would have because I was floating aimlessly after high school and didn't come down to having anything resembling a life plan until I became pregnant.  But for the sake of this article I'm going to imagine that I would have potentially joined the military.

I was a tomboy.  I played with dolls, don't get me wrong, but I was not a girlie type of girl by any stretch. 

When I was a teen I arm wrestled in competitions to make some extra $, lifting weights and practicing on young men to improve my speed and strategies.  I often beat those men because I was strong and fast.  They thought it was about brute strength.  It is, partially, but a good grip, length of arm and quick, hard pull at the start will usually do the trick.  I totally enjoyed beating them!  Ego trip!

I carried a knife for years.  At age 17 (I think) I threatened a man with loss of his balls during a visit to Minneapolis, because he was harassing me and my sister as we walked down the street.  I meant every word and he decided (wisely) to turn around and walk the fuck away.

I may be female, and I may be basically good natured but I have a hard, cold mean streak and a willingness to do violence.  I've run up against it a number of times in my life.  Let's just say that if anyone causes serious hurt to one of my loved ones, they had best hope the cops get him/her before I do.  I had an ex who thought it was a great idea to threaten to run off with my kid.  The courts wouldn't do anything so I decided to deal with it myself.  He doesn't know it but he's lucky that he finally decided to leave the state when he did.  So am I!  Saved me from doing prison time!

Mostly, now, I don't feel anything that extreme.  I simply don't let myself get into a rage and my life isn't full of drama.  Probably the last time I went into a true rage was a few years ago when some terrorists cut a reporter's head off and I happened to hear it on the radio.  I wish I hadn't heard that. If I had access to them for a period of time after that, I would have done terrible things to them without guilt because to this day I believe they gave up their right to breathe the air when they did that.  It would have been a slow, painful death.  And they'd have deserved every moment of it.  Honestly, I think I could do that to them even today.  I still feel very cold inside when I think of that incident.  Like it would be a necessary thing to do. 

That said, I think I could go into combat and do quite well!  I have some personality traits that would fit the job.  Would I be shitting bricks?  Hell yes!  I don't want to die, but you do what needs to be done even if it isn't easy.  Better to die like that than lying in an old folks home withering away.  At least it had purpose. 

That said, I don't think women should be put up for the draft.  Before you get your panties in a knot, I don't think all men should be put up for the draft either!  Not everyone is cut out to be a soldier and those who aren't can be a burden on those who are.  Or just bullet fodder.  I imagine some of the people I know in a battle scenario and it's laughable.  And pitiful.  Lots of crying, clinging and hiding would go on.  I cringe when I think of some people being put in a field, arming them and telling them to fight and kill people.

On the flip side, the men who think women will distract them need to get their heads out of their pants.  I mean really!  But sadly there is fact behind this concern.  When I came to Minneapolis years ago, my first job was doing accounting for a futon frame manufacturing company.  I was the only woman there when I started.  It was kind of lonely but the guys were nice to me and that helped.  They wouldn't hire women for the shop for a long time because they thought the men would be distracted and there were dangerous machines (saws and drills and nailguns and such).  They finally hired some to avoid lawsuits and guess what?  Some of my male co-workers couldn't pay attention to their work and got hurt on the tools!  I really hate that there is truth to this issue!  It isn't the women's fault.  Some men need to TRY to get their brains out of their dicks!  But they don't.  It's a dilemma. 

That said, equal rights can be a bitch ladies!  You can't have it both ways.  You want equal pay and equal rights, then you have to take the flip side of that and "man up". 

It is what it is.  It is only fair that women be subjected to the draft, just like men!  I don't like it but fair is fair.  Heaven help this country! 

2012 wrap up

That about sums up 2012 for me!  At the start of this year my plan was to use this blog as a way to shaming myself into losing weight.  Didn't work.

I had several plans that went bust completely or partially this past year. 

The failed weight loss plan is only the first item on my list of complaints.  And I can only complain to myself.  I'd smack myself with a wet noodle but would probably eat it.  I'm just coming off of holiday eating.  Yesterday, after a 4 day weekend, I tried to go back to normal eating patterns and my body kept making me feel faint because I hadn't eaten on an hourly basis.  And I gave into it because it was uncomfortable.  This is a problem!  Today I will do better!  (I hope)

Then there was my 30 year class reunion.  I'd been waiting for this for 30 freaking years!  And what happens to me?  I put my back out.  I went to the reunion and it was great seeing people but I was in pain the whole time.  I can see it in some of the pictures, where I didn't know they were shooting.  I have this constipated look and am sitting all cockamamie.  I ended up in the ER at the crack of dawn the following AM thanks to Ken hauling my crippled ass upright and helping me toddle oh so slowly to the car.  So instead of having a blast with my classmates, I spent that day drugged up on pain pills and anti-spasm meds in the hotel room bed.  Ken was so sweet...he stayed with me and cuddled and brought me food tho the meds made me feel nauseous.  But I am seriously pissed that my back had to pull that crap during my reunion and hosed my chance of spending some more fun time with my classmates!    Better luck at the 40th I guess.  I hope!

I had a dream of selling my house.  Well.  I got the ball rolling by asking the Park Office to give me a compliance list so I would know what I had to do to get my house ready to go to market.  When you live in a trailer court, it can be tricky to sell your house, sitting on their lot, if they are not going to approve it to stay there.  Well.  I got a mini-novel of things they wanted fixed.  Resentment flared because there are lots of places in worse shape than mine in that court.  Then I realized, they'll probably have a worse to-do list than me if they decide to sell.  They have my sympathies.  The list was full of fun stuff like painting, adding railings where I didn't need them when I bought the place, same thing with back stairs...didn't need them when I bought the place but now I do.  Down to window & screen replacements, and replacing all the screws on the skirting.  LOTS of work to be done.  My heart sank into my stomach and sat there like a rock.  And then I dusted off and got to work.  AFTER my back had recovered from my class reunion which took a good month of chiropractic treatment (joy).  So I worked and worked and spent and spent.  And the house looks pretty good but I ran out of good weather and money and didn't get it into compliance and therefore on the market.  I'm hoping I can pull it off by next summer.  If not, I'll try to get everything done by the end of summer and try to sell it during the winter.  I don't care.  I just want the bloody thing sold!  Time to move on to the next chapter of my life.  The raising kids chapter is done.  Now I want to be a free spirited grandma who travels and has lots of fun and doesn't have to do yard work or repair toilets!   Been there, done that, sick of it.

I can't say I have any sadness over bidding 2012 adieu.  It did have its high points but I'm hoping to have more success with my various goals in the coming year.  I'm going to give up on the shaming thing.  Here is my list of goals for the coming year - it's short but should be challenging!

>  Lose weight!
>  Get more fit - amp up my physical activity levels and stop being such a marshmallow!
>  Get my house into compliance and get it on the market!
>  On the personal growth side...try to be more positive in my approach to life.  Acknowledge that I alone am responsible for my mental health and if I'm moping around, blaming others for my unhappiness I need to check myself and make some adjustments to my thinking or decide if I'm willing to make some changes to my life to solve the issues. 

Not a bad list!  And no shame involved!  I do have to fight my basic nature for some of them.  I'm not a naturally balanced person.  I tend to lean towards pleasure seeking and laziness.  But I don't like my weight, I don't like that I'm a marshmallow and I don't like that I sometimes wallow in self pity and bitterness more than I should.  (I have to admit I enjoy that sometimes...ok a lot.)  Some of that stuff is ok but I need to find more balance.  I will NEVER be a super-cheerful/positive/driven/skinny exercise buff but sliding a bit more in that direction wouldn't hurt me any. 

Final random thoughts

Since the world is ending tomorrow I have a few things I’d like to say. 

Ø  To my family – I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!  You are freaking nuts! 

o   My parents – so glad neither of you ever really turned into “grown-ups”!  I’ve inherited that and it has made my life so much more fun than if I was actually a “grown-up”.  You have some great genetic material – thank you for sharing!  And for being my playmates in life as well as my parents.   And thanks for being good looking, smart and talented.  I got some good kids out of that genetic mix!  My family looks great in family pictures!  Love you!!!

o   My siblings – I will miss our conversations and how the volume goes up and up as we all talk over each other since we all have issues with waiting for someone to take a breath and have large lung capacities.  And we all know everything and no one can tell us different!  If only the world could sit in on our discussions – all problems would be solved.  Stupid world doesn’t know what it’s missing out on!  Love you!!!

o   My kids – you guys are my built in favorite people to hang out with!  Funny how that turned out since I was ready to run away from home/praying to be taken to jail/wishing you’d call child protection on me so they’d take you/me away/dreaming of being drugged up in a psych ward so nothing would matter so often when I was raising you.  You were too much like me and my sibs – my Mom got her revenge.  I raised a pack of “I hope you have kids just like you someday”s!  Love you!!!

o   Ken – ok – I really needed another serious dose of my Ken in January.  DAMMIT!!!  I’m bitter about this one.  If the idiots are wrong and the world doesn’t end tomorrow, it’s on baby!!!  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  Why yes, I think you are!  I’ve had more damned fun doing everything with you!  Love you!!!

Ø  To my classmates – I’m thankful for facebook so I could learn what a pain in the ass I was as a kid and that you guys aren’t nearly as bad as I thought you were!  In fact, you’re pretty great!  Who’da thunk?  I’ve been happily educated!  You guys rock!  Hopefully we’ll party together in the next phase of existence!

Ø  To my pals  – So glad I met your sarcastic, cranky, goofball asses!  You can’t be a delicate flower and be a close friend with me.  You gotta be able to tolerate some crude/foul language/discussions because when I’m with those I know well, I really relax and that can make some run for the hills!  I’m grateful for you guys and that you can hand it back!  I don’t hang with pussies!  So guys, you aren’t pussies in my book – you rock!  And I love you!  And after today you won’t have to listen to any more of my shit, like when I whine or am mean or unfair or bitchy.  I know, you’ll miss it.  J 

Ø  State of Minnesota – kiss my lily white ass!   (aside - I’ve stopped tanning for the winter so it’s white)   You fuckers tax too much of my income and if the world had lasted long enough I’d have finally gotten my house sold and moved someplace that isn’t all full of tax and spend fiends!  Piss off! 

o   On a side note, you have a gorgeous state in the spring, summer and fall.  Winter, pfft.  But you tax too much and live outside your means.  And I’m sick of being afraid to admit to being a fiscal conservative for fear of getting my car keyed. 

Ø  Governor Dayton – stop looking like a beaten puppy dog!!  I tell you, every time I see your face I want to run up and shake you and slap you and tell you to knock it off!  Plus, don’t speak.  You sound like Elmo with a cold.  Not good. 

Ø  Going to keep it local because thinking about the federal level makes me want to end things a bit early.  Seriously.  I’ve made a point of avoiding that as much as possible over the years in an effort to maintain my sanity and not have to start taking anti-depressants.  Avoidance is my medicine and it has worked.  Gotta get back to it because I’m getting that sick feeling again just from writing this!  If the world wasn’t ending tomorrow I’d have to say I think the US is pretty fucked right now. 

Ø  To my boss – I’ve been making an effort.  Yesterday was a good day with us!  We LOL’d together in emails.  Rare but hey, it happened and I’m glad!  Sadly it happened because I was an idiot but that’s beside the point.  I still wish I would have lived long enough to quit working for you.  So I could have done a private happy dance on my last day.  Either that or managed to actually decide to like working for you instead of wanting to storm out of here at random moments.  I think I’m getting there some days and then it hits again.  But tomorrow it’s all over so no more worries!  We’re ending on a good note!  Unless we manage to screw it up today.  I’m going to avoid contact as much as possible to be on the safe side.

All I can think of right now.  I’m ready.  I think I’ll go home and engage in some of the 7 deadly sins just for the fun of it tonight!  Going out with a bang!   A small bang but a bang nonetheless!  ROCK ON!!!  Or not.  J

Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting

My heart is broken for the families who've suffered losses because of the recent mass shootings at the Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I cried because I imagined how I'd feel if I'd heard that one of my granddaughters had been shot and killed at school one day.  A lot of people are in an enormous amount of pain right now.  My heart goes out to them! 

Since this has happened I've seen a lot of people politicizing it as far as for/against gun control.  They want to make sure this never happens again.  I have some sad news for people.  It doesn't matter if you banned all guns or if you have everyone armed to the teeth.  You can't stop the random mad man from doing what Adam Lanza did, or countless others have done, when they decide to spread their suffering before they kill themselves.  This is the truth.  Like it or not, it is the truth.

People want to believe that they can control the world.  They want to make sense out of chaos and make it go away.  The fact is that the world is full of chaos and no matter how many laws you enact or how many protective bubbles you try to create or how hard you pray, you won't be safe.

Safety is an illusion.  The idea if you eat well and exercise you'll live to a ripe old age.  Nope.  No guarantee of that.  If you drive safely, you won't die in a flaming car crash.  Nope.  No guarantee of that.  That the child your bore won't someday turn on you and kill you.  Nope.  No guarantee of that.  That the parent who bore you won't suddenly turn on you and kill you.  Nope.  No guarantee of that.  I could go on and on. 

If you somehow manage to ban guns and get all of them removed from the public sector, what's next?  Can you ban someone from making bombs?  (Oklahoma bomber ring any bells?)  Or possibly using bows and arrows?  Or a knife and slashing some throats?  Or just bare hands and strangling or bludgeoning someone to death?  Happens all the time folks.  You can't legislate it away.  I'm sorry.  You can't.  And if you arm everyone can you stop this?  Well maybe you can stop it sooner than happened in this situation but there is no guarantee of that either.

If you call the police because someone you know is buying guns and making comments will that stop them?  Hard to say.  No guarantees here either.  If the guns are all legal and the person isn't deemed as unfit to have them, the police can do nothing because they haven't broken any laws.  Maybe that bit of attention would make a difference but maybe not. 

There is evil in the world and it won't be legislated.  It won't obey laws.  You can try but you may not be able to protect your loved ones against it.  Or even yourself.  You can try to hedge your bets by doing the things I mentioned above...eating well, driving carefully, etc.  It's something!  But it's not a guarantee.  There are none. 

One thing I try to do, is remember that my loved ones could be taken from me at any time.  Or that I could be taken from them at any time.  I live my life accordingly.  I make sure they all know how much I love them.  If I was to die today I can honestly say I'd have no unfinished business except I'd wish I could have stayed longer.  I'd have no regrets.  I think about how people will feel if we were suddenly over and unable to resolve any issues.  I live with this awareness of potential chaos every day.  I understand wanting to make it go away but you can't.  Just like death.  There is no more chance of escape from chaos than there is from death.  It will happen.  Ask a cancer patient.  Ask a hurricane survivor.  Ask Senator Gabby.  It's bigger than us.  And the ones who survive?  It's temporary.  We're all doing to die.  It's inescapable.  And if he wants to, one madman can change the world.  Can break your heart.

I think it's kind of dangerous to think that we can stop this kind of thing from happening.  Dangerous because if we really believe we're safe, we can continue to act like idiots and not take care of our personal relationships like we should.  Because we think we have time that we may not have.  

The only solace I can take from what happened to those children and the adults who died in this shooting is that they were loved.  And I hope that they all knew how much and that the families only regrets are that they won't get to give them more love in the coming years.  In the end, I think that's the most important lesson to this.  Don't leave unfinished business.  If you love someone, don't play games with them.  Don't withhold it from them because things aren't going your way.  Grow up!  Stop acting like an idiot!  Deal with the issues but always make sure they know how very much they are loved!!  Always.

some days the excitement is more than I can bear

I just had a conversation with a co-worker about the fact that he discovered an "O" in a project # that he now needed to filter out of his search groups.  He came up to my office to tell me that.  My soul is dying.

Today has been a testy day for me.  Started at 12:30 AM when I heard my dog Bruiser crying as he circled round and round and I realized he was setting up to take a dump on the floor!  I leapt out of bed and threw him outside.  At least I caught him before he stenched up my house. 

Then this AM when it was time for him to go out he almost made it to the door.  I'm clapping and urging him to me and he's giving me a look and I realize he's going to make a run for it.  He did.  It was VERY cold and snowing out and his delicate highness doesn't care for cold or snow so he tried to escape.  I can't say I blame him!  But I wrangled him down, onto his leash and pushed him out the door. 

We had a snow storm the day before so I bundled up and headed out to dig my car out.  More good news!  It hadn't snowed much since the night before so all I had to do was shovel a path out to the street and was on the road in about 10 mins!  Got to the bus stop and found there was a line waiting that reminded me of lines for rides at our local amusement park, Valley Fair.  I decided I'd take a pass on waiting for a couple of buses and got back in my car to brave the crappy roads.  Roads were slow enough so there was no risk of a spin out, but they were steady.  I was shocked, after all this, that I was a whopping 15 minutes late for work!  Not bad! 

I was the first one to arrive at the office and as some of my co-workers called in to announce they'd be late, they marveled at the fact that I'd made it in so early.  What can I say?  I'm a professional northerner who doesn't forget how to drive when it snows!  We're a rare breed.  As I received calls I discovered what a crab I can be when they'd ask how I got in so early I was tempted to say "I tried and then succeeded".

So I've been plugging away at work, avoiding people since my snarky side is in full bloom today and I'm not to be trusted.  In fact, I'm going to strongly edit myself about the many not so kind thoughts that flew through my head over this and that today.  Even I'm ashamed of some of them and others can hurt feelings and lord knows I've had to pull enough posts off this blog because I've hurt feelings and/or offended people I care about!  Some things are better left unsaid and only roaming inside my own head.  It's possible it's early onset PMS but also possible it's just because sometimes I'm a bitch.

I want to be honest when I write but sometimes the cost is too high.   I don't mind making myself look like an ass.  I am one sometimes and it's good that I don't let myself lose sight of that, but while I tend to be brutal with myself I'm equally brutal with others and it doesn't always come off well if I write it and post it here.  I prefer not to fight with anyone or damage my relationships so I'm learning to edit in spite of the fact that I think it's a good exercise to expose oneself, so to speak. 

It would be really easy to make posts that show me as always being kind, talented, smart or generous.  To only post pictures of myself that are flattering.  Problem is, I feel like a fraud if I only show the parts of me that I like and hide the rest.  Even when it hurts!  Like admitting I'm fat.  Or being a bitch or an ass.  When I'm having a tantrum and realize I was out of line.  Or that I have odd little whiskers on my chin that I have to trim daily (oh the joys of getting old!). 

We all have embarrassing parts and my way of connecting is to show you mine!  If you want to respond in kind, fine but if not, at least you maybe got a chuckle over something that clicked and you know what I'm talking about, even if you don't want to say it about yourself. 

I started this planning to write about my snarky day and realized I can't say too much without potentially offending people but I'll make a few comments because I think I can get away with them.

I watched a guy take an amazing amount of time to spread some chicken or tuna salad on a couple of buns.  I think he did it a 1/2 tsp at a time.  With profuse spreading in between each 1/2 tsp!  I think if he was around me a lot I'd have to kill him just because of that. 

I was reminded that my adult co-workers can't put away clean dishes in the dishwasher.  Usually our receptionist does that but she was snowed in and late and so they just piled their dirty dishes in the sink rather than put away the clean ones (took maybe 2 mins) and put their dirty dishes away. 

If someone wants me to change a field in a program they should tell me the correct field to change.  I honestly don't know anyone who can really read minds!  I felt like my boss and I were speaking different languages today.  I finally sent her a picture of what was happening because describing it didn't seem to be working.  Then she sent me a picture back and at that point I was ready to go back home because that was when I realized she'd been telling me to change the wrong thing!  What she was telling me to do at that point made no sense.  I emailed her back in frustration asking her what the heck she was talking about because it made no sense!  Then I went back to the picture she sent and studied it and decided to try it even tho it wasn't changing the Revenue Method (term she used) but was instead changing the Revenue Type (shown in her picture).  It worked.  So I had to admit that I figured it out right after I'd sent the message of massive frustration and confusion.  I wasn't going to bother pointing out her terminology issues.  That would just turn it into a pissing match again and I'm tired of having those with her.

And to close, I really wish people wouldn't walk up to my office to tell me the sent me an email.  Do they not get how email works? 

"Nuff said!  Happy Monday!

Maybe not "nuff said.  Just got home from a slow commute to find that my parking space has not been plowed.  The plows were busy little bees yesterday piling snow around my car for me to shovel but when my car is gone it's just not as fun to plow in front of my house!  Well I backed my car back into my snowbank.  Repeatedly.  I'll make my own god-damned parking spot!  I'm in a mood.  Now I'm parked slanty-wise on my sidewalk and I don't give a rat's ass.  I'm tempted to just pull into my yard and create my own driveway!

I felt like crying when I drove up and saw that and drove around the block and saw no better options.  It's frustrating.  I wish I had my own snow plow.

Cursed Christmas

Oh no!  That dreaded time of year has reared its ugly head again! 

I wish I could say that this time of year fills me with happiness and a feeling of goodwill towards my fellow man.  Instead it makes me want to clutch my pocketbook to my breast and hang on for dear life!  It also makes me groan  when I think of the extra work that needs to be done to decorate, shop and bake in preparation for the big event.  And then there is the event.  Organized chaos!  Luckily my sister manages that for the most part since she hosts every year.  She’s allergic to my dog and has a much larger house than I do so it’s just the way it’s been for years.  YAY Stacey!!  Thank you for saving me from some of the chaos!!

The one good thing about it is I get a day off with holiday pay.  Meh.  It’s something. 

This year I have been making my credit cards weep in agony as I try to get my house into compliance for sale.  (Joy of living in a mobile home - another pack of folks who get to boss you around aka the Park Office) I REALLY want to get it sold and get on with my life!  I feel like it’s a weight around my neck right now and it’s strangling me a bit.  (When I let myself feel all dramatic about it, which I do sometimes.)  So here comes Christmas.  The season of gift giving.  yay.  I really get what Scrooge felt about it!  The last time I felt the “magic” of Christmas I was a little kid and my Mom was the one groaning through all the work to make it magical for me.  Thanks Mom!  That was the best time of my life and I was too stupid to know it!  Then I grew up and it became my job and the party was over.  Dammit!  I keep telling my grandkids not to be in such a hurry to grow up.  It isn’t that great!  Think they’ll listen?  Of course not.  They never do.

So now I’m trying to figure out how to afford gifts for my loved ones while avoiding making my checkbook/credit cards begin to rend their garments in agony.  It doesn’t help that I don’t have a clue what to get for anyone this year and that giving everyone money would be tacky as well as looking bad to have nothing but envelopes under the tree.  Tempting though because boy oh boy, would it simplify my life to do it that way!  I need to PONDER what they might like that’s cheap.  I don’t have time to ponder!  I tend to fill that time reading books (bad habit I know).  I should probably make myself leave the books alone and just sit and ponder a while.  I wonder if that would help?  Knowing me, I’d zone out and not accomplish anything.  Or I’d wander off because I thought of something I had to do. 

So I’m stuck with the gift giving festival conundrum.  Bah Humbug!

And then there’s the decorating.  Last year I gave away my crappy fake tree and didn’t decorate at all.  Penelope was too little to care and Brooke & Ariana were in WA with their Dad so they didn’t care either.  I didn’t care – it was great!  Now, since I Penelope is old enough to notice and the girls are here this year, I feel like I should decorate but I’ve given myself an out.  Lee (daughter I donated crappy fake tree to) may or may not use my tree.  Her boyfriend wants a real one.  If they get a real one, I’ll take my crappy fake tree back and decorate it and be a good grandma with a festive house for the kids to visit.  If they decide to save some $’s and use the tree, gosh, grandma is off the hook!  Weirdly tho, I’ll feel a bit bad if I’m off the hook.  My grandparents always had things looking festive for us when we visited.  I feel like I’m dropping the ball on this one.  But I’m also too poor (see above) to purchase another crappy fake tree so that’s that.

So my house may or may not be decorated.  And either has drawbacks.  Bah Humbug!

And finally there is the baking.  Now normally I LOVE baking!  I really do!  But this is baking that becomes almost like work because there is so much of it.  And it has to be done by a certain time so it can be shipped in time to get to loved ones before the holidays.  Pressure.  GAH!  Plus ingredients aren’t free (see above). 

There is another piece to this issue for me.  I’m trying to lose weight.  My natural state seems to be fat and if I don’t diet constantly I revert to fat.  Sadly I’ve reverted to fat again so must fend it off.  So I’m back to dieting AND I’m supposed to bake a billion cookies.  All those good smells and flavors surrounding me for days and days!  And I’m supposed to diet.  Yeah right.

Diets kill joy. 

I wish I liked being slim more than I like eating yummy food!  Alas, that is not the case.  Would solve some problems if it was. 

Why can’t anything that tastes so good be good for you?  Why am I stuck munching on freaking celery as a snack???  Why the hell can’t the cookies I bake be a healthy option?  Because it’s a sin.  Yes, cookies are sin incarnate.  Anything that makes you happy and feels good is sinful and bad for you.  Christmas cookies are sin incarnate – leading you into temptation and indulging in one of the 7 deadly sins, GLUTTONY!!!  Think about it folks!  Life isn’t fair.  If life was fair, ice cream would be diet food. 

I don’t know if I’m going to resist GLUTTONY well.  I rather like sinning sometimes!  Most of the time in all honesty.  I'm a bad seed.  I may have to give in to my dark side if I’m going to enjoy this holiday season at all…JS

The fat/diet/cookie/sin thing makes me bitter.  Bah Humbug!

Gratitude List

I think it was my daughter who recommended a blog that talked about being thankful.  I don't remember exactly what it said but I think it suggested writing about what you're thankful for each day.  I thought it would be an interesting exercise.  I'm now on day 5 and it is doing more good for me than I expected!

Day one, I wrote about the joy I feel, just because I am lucky enough to get to walk this magnificent planet.  Then I jotted down a list of 21 topics I could write about in the coming days.  I decided to commit to this and I would make my posts each day on facebook.  So they had to be fairly short and to the point.  I hoped I wouldn't annoy anyone! 

Next I wrote about being grateful to have been born an American.  Especially since I'm female and not every country is as progressive as the USA when it comes to women and their rights!

Those were pretty easy topics.  I was pondering my list the next day.  I was grumpy.  My dog Bruiser had given me a bit of a circus the night before and had been harassing me all day long.  Following me around, barking at me for attention.  He was one of the items on my list and I decided that this would be a good moment to think about why I was grateful to have Bruiser in my life.  It helped me focus on the positives he has brought to me!  I was able to be more forgiving of his annoying behaviors after.  I also gave myself the reminder that he is getting senile, he is deaf and I'm his only social outlet most of the time. I have remembered to be patient and to think more of him than myself when he seems to be getting in the way.  I'm also trying to figure out how to stop him from barking whenever I get on the phone!  That behavior is driving me nuts!

Last night I decided to write about my love of books since I'd been fretting about my lack of them lately and then when I bought one, it turned out to be rather lame.  I'm still wading thru it because, hey, it's a book!  There are some point of view issues and it's a rather stuffy period piece but I'm determined to get thru it.

Today I was trying to think of what to write and realized tonight it would be about my Dad.  My daughter pointed out that maybe I should share what I wrote with him.  I think she's right.  I think I'll copy what I wrote and then flesh it out a bit.  We all love to hear good things that our loved ones think of us!

One of the unexpected side effects to this is that now my head is busy considering what I'll write about the other items on my gratitude list.  It's creating a lot of positive energy in me that hasn't been there for a while!  I've been struggling with some changes at work, struggling with my own sense of worth.  Stressing about getting my house to market.  Stressing about what will happen after it's sold!  I've been in a fairly negative place for a while now.  This exercise has turned out to be just what the imaginary doctor ordered as far as turning my attitude around!  I'm now focused on thinking about people I love and things that I value and how I'm going to share them with my friends and family.

You'll be seeing something from me on my facebook each day.  Something I'm grateful for.  All the way to Thanksgiving! I think this is good for me!

Hurt

Oh man!  I can't believe I woke up writing this in my head this AM!  Three things came together from last night and stewed I guess.  I was You Tubing last night.  I decided to listen to one of my favorite songs/videos.  Hurt by Johnny Cash.  It makes me feel like crying every time I see it.  I was curious so I looked up the Nine Inch Nails version.  Not as good in my opinion but coming from a different place.  I get that.  NIN was about drugs and a bad place he was for a time.  Johnny Cash made it about his entire life.  He was examining his life and coming up short.  So both are painful and personal but one is bigger than the other.  The writer (forgot his name and too lazy to google right now, I'm on a roll) said he was moved that Cash chose to do his song and that he also felt Cash took it to a new level.  He didn't feel the song was his any longer. 

Then I caboodled around in You Tube a bit longer.  Decided to see if there was anything by any Orviks in there (my last name) and found the book my Uncle Chuck wrote called "The Brothers' Keepers".  It's about his and my father's and their brother's childhood.  It's fictionalized because he was a kid and can't remember everything exactly, plus the publisher told him that no one would believe it was true.  He adjusted the stories to make them less factual but they are familiar and I've grown up hearing about them.  I hadn't known about the level of neglect they experienced.  It was an eye opener!  The other eye opener was how similar my siblings and I were to my Uncle and his brothers.  We were both feral packs, tho his was more feral for more reasons.  We didn't trust authority because it had rarely done anything for us to earn our trust.  We counted on each other.  On a level that is unusual.  I have a profound love for my siblings.  Every one of them.  They are my best, most trusted friends in the world.  Even when we fight, they still are my very closest people.  Even when we go long spans of being busy and not connecting by phone or email or whatnot, we are connected.  We all feel that way about each other too.  My world is ok as long as they are in the world with me.  They are people I need.  They know me like my parents never will and my kids never will.  They lived my life with me.  We all went thru it together.  We were the only ones we could truly trust back then.  The others failed us regularly.  When abuse happens and no one saves you, even when you TELL them the abuse is happening, they tell you that you are imagining it, well, you learn a few things about the world.  So we helped each other as much as we could.

Weirdly, I've raised another pack.  My kids had to survive the life I gave them and I failed to protect them like I should have sometimes.  It wasn't all bad either but there were some hard parts.  They depend on each other and I see similar dynamics with the three of them.  On the one hand I'm sorry they needed to become a pack because it indicates trauma, but on the other hand I absolutely love how much they love each other.  Yin and Yang again.  Keeps repeating.  In my case and my children's case, I think the sense of connected gained was worth the trauma incurred to create the connection.

Anyway, I'm veering off the path I was following when I woke up this AM.  I was thinking about where I've come from.  Like Cash did in his rendition of Hurt.  My life.  My regrets.  And while I love that song because it reminds me that you don't go thru life without regret, I know I wouldn't have changed any of it.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  There are good things that came out of all the bad things.  The somewhat tough childhood.  I say somewhat because it was pretty good in some ways also.  I'd really hate for people to think my childhood was terrible.  It wasn't.  It had some pretty hard ass stuff in it but also love and fun.  The tough parts showed me my strength and taught me to think for myself and trust my instincts.  They taught me that I have to take care of myself and not trust others to do it.  Those times showed me I was stronger and more resilient than I thought.

It also gave me my sister and brothers in a way that is precious to me.  I have a man now, that I love in such a different way than I've loved before.  I've lived some years now and appreciate our connection for how very unique and special it is.  In a way he's healed me.  He is a retired cop.  I told him my story...some of the things I'd experienced and if he had been the cop back then and if he'd been someone I'd turned to for help, I may be more trusting of authority at this stage of my life.  I know his history also and he has become my hero.  He probably would have mixed feelings about me calling him my hero since he doesn't feel heroic about himself - he knows his own dark side - but to me he is, despite and maybe because of that dark side in a way.  I know the good, the bad and the ugly about him.  He is my soul mate.  He's weirdly like me despite our differing backgrounds. I feel safe with him.  I feel loved and protected.  There is nothing about me that I would feel I had to hide from him.  I'm accepted.  Good, bad, ugly and I have plenty going on in all three departments.  But even with all that, he is relatively new to my circle of trust.  There are 3 other people who know me on a whole other level because of shared experience, trust and love.  They've been the ones who had my back throughout my life. 

Sometimes you must pay a price for the life you live.  There is no guarantee that life is easy.  That if it isn't, you're doing something wrong.  Life IS a challenge!  It's complex and it isn't easy and out of that you gain some wonderful lessons if you are wise enough to pay attention.

So back to the Hurt song and my Uncle's story to close this up...I have regrets, but I wouldn't change a thing.  I'll live with those regrets.  I'll feel remorse for the people I've hurt along the way.  But those needle stings are part of my life.  I'll own my life.  All of it.  It brought me here to this moment with all the feelings and lessons learned along the way.  I'm part of a circle.  Even tho my story is unique I've become a parent and understood what that meant to my parents.  I've become a grandparent and understand what that meant to my grandparents.  I will become elderly and understand how that feels.  I will die and if I have time to think about it first, I'll understand how that feels.  And I'll find out if there is something beyond this life or not.  If not, I'll never know the difference.  I suspect there is because I believe I've been "visited" by loved ones who have passed.  But I don't know.  I'll deal with what I do know for as long as I'm here.  Living my life and hopefully having enough wisdom to savor it as much as possible!

The relationships I've made with people, how REAL they are with those chosen few, have been profound for me.  THAT is what my life is really all about.  It's not about having things or a career, it's about those relationships.

I'm on a journey until I die.  I will be alone in the way that we all are alone.  We can share our lives with others but in the end, only we will experience our personal journey through our own eyes.  Our perceptions will be our own.  I'm unique.  It's weird to be unique in the same way everyone else is but we are all unique because no one can see what we've seen, conceptualize it the same way, experience it the same way.  I think back on my life and think WOW!  And then I'm excited to see what comes next! 

I like a lot of this but it meanders :)  What can I say?  I woke up writing it in my head!

I'm fat with an ugly, dying wart on my knee and housing updates

I went to the doctor yesterday.  I skipped that last year for the lamest of reasons.  Shame.  I didn't want to step on the scale and see my official weight.  This year, I didn't want to step on that scale either but figured I couldn't let my health go completely to hell because I'm fat and haven't done enough to counteract it. 

It was anti-climactic in the end.  I wasn't as fat as I thought but wasn't close to slim enough to be proud of anything either.  Duh.  My doctor didn't even scold me about it. 

I got shots in both arms so now my shoulders are sore.  In fact, they are the reason I gave up on sleeping this AM and got up before my alarm.  I like to sleep on my side and it didn't matter which I tried, it was uncomfortable.  On the good side, I got to work really early so therefore I will leave really early.  Makes me happy :)

This morning I got an eyeful of the wart on the side of my knee that got treated yesterday.  HOLY CRAP!!  Having it as a nice quiet wart looked a ton better than it does now that it's a big red angry dying wart!  So glad it's not shorts season right now!  The doc warned me about pus that could ooze from it in the coming days.  This could be perfect timing for Halloween!  Maybe I'll just come to work with my wart showing and gross everyone out!  Maybe it'll be pussy (pronounce that correctly or else!) and green or black or something by then?  Maybe it'll look like gangrene?  Or I could claim it is the start of a zombie virus that's attacking my system and it will spread?  Things to ponder...

There is possibly some news on the home front.  Well there is and there is some more possibly.  The factual stuff is that progress has been made!  The house has been painted.  The baseboards have been replaced and painted and caulked.  Tomorrow I start painting soffits.  yay.  Standing on a ladder for hours with my hands above my head.  yay.  The gap between the baseboards and skirting has been closed.  Looks good!  I still have work to do but am making progress and feel pretty good about how it's all looking.  Woo Hoo!

Now for the possible news.  Nick and Lee are thinking about buying the place.  I have mixed feelings about this.  One the one hand, it'd be so great to sell the house without even putting it on the market.  I'd be another step on the way to my goal!  On the other hand, HOLY CRAP!!  Yeah, I say that a lot lately but it's how I'm feeling a lot too. 

I haven't moved in almost 15 years so the thought of pulling up stakes is freaking me out a bit.  I was expecting to spend a comfortable winter here and switch to fixing things up inside, then back to outside work in the spring.  My plans could be right out the window!  If they do decide to take it over, I'll be moving to a new space by Dec 1st.  Moving in Dec does NOT thrill me in the slightest.  The timing of that could cause some issues for my later plans.  Ick!

I'm doing the debate of trying to find some one's basement or something to live in for 3-4 mos so I can time a lease right.  So far I'm not coming up with any feasible options. 

I considered talking to my sister about staying in her basement and paying her some rent but she's allergic to my dog so that's out. 

Then I considered the back room at my friend Kim's (she offered) but she has a cat (I have allergies to those) and a large dog that Bruiser does NOT like and the long commute to work would be hellish this winter so that option is out. 

I think I'm probably stuck finding a place to rent and hoping it all works out ok. 

If they decide not to take the place over, I proceed with my original plan, I will feel calmer and the house will get sold anyway.  Since they think it's good enough to seriously consider AND they know its good points and bad, I have more confidence in my ability to sell it once it hits the market. 

dullness

Tonight I feel dulled.  Muted.  It was a long day.  Didn't get home until after 7.  Dog crapped on the floor.  Was frantic to eat his supper.  So was I!  Cleaned up his mess, got my work clothes off.  My butt was wet.  I did an emergency rescue of Lacey & Penelope after Lacey's car decided not to start.  While Lacey was putting the car seat in the back and I was chatting with Penelope, her water cup spilled all over the car seat.  So I had a wet butt.  I didn't enjoy it.  So I wanted to change.  Bruiser about had a stroke over it.  He didn't think there was any reason good enough to delay his supper.  It was 2 hrs late after all.  Unacceptable!

I tore around my house tidying up all the stuff I didn't tidy up yesterday.  I did some laundry.  I washed the dirty dishes (quite a mountain by this time).  Then I sat down to look at facebook and froze.  I feel a bit zombie-like.  I think I need to sleep soon.  So I can get up and do it again.  Slight variations but all the same.  I'm slogging down now.  As I type.  Should probably give this up and go to bed.  For some reason I thought something good might come out of this.  I was mistaken.

feeling muffled is the only way to tolerate life right now

It's allergy season again with a vengeance!  I haven't had such a miserable allergy season in quite a while.  I'm drugged up right now on cold medicine because my allergy meds weren't helping.  I'm muffled. 

My right ear has been plugged since last night.  It did open up breifly this AM and I did a little dance of joy but then it plugged back up again.  You gotta take those joyous moments when you can!

Yesterday was a high point for me.  I thought I was getting past it and then it gave me it's hardest hit yet!  I had the lovely sinus drip going steady.  Nose is raw/chapped from the visits with kleenex every 5 minutes or less.  My throat is raw from the drip and the bizarre contortions I'm doing with the back of my throat in my attempts to scratch what's itching back in there.  Finally felt like some blisters popped so I really need to knock the throat contortions off today.  When I forget and try to do them, I get some painful reminders!  The itch is less of a problem than the pain I get from trying to releive the itch at this point.

The cold medicine has finally slowed the drip.  I was experiencing itchy eyelashes (yes, eyelashes) and that's not happening today (yay!!!)  Yay for cold medicine that makes my symptoms ease and relaxes me enough that I don't care as much about what it doesn't ease!

I don't really mind being muffled.  It's rather nice and peaceful in this muffly place!  Until I can wake up and feel like my normal self, this muffled place makes life tolerable.  Yesterday it wasn't.  Yesterday I hit a new level of crabby over this.  I hate having allergies!  There is no escape.  It's your body and you can't get away from it.  Well I supposed you could commit suicide but that would be really stupid.  So, short of suicide, you can't get away from it.  Unlike a cold, it can go on for weeks.  Wait, I've had colds that went on for weeks.  Maybe a cold isn't better.  Regardless, with a cold you have the outside chance that you'll feel better in 7-10 days.  Allergies can go on for weeks!  When the snow flies I should be safe but it's only friggin' 9/5/12 so that's potentially a lot of suffering if it actually takes that long!

Shit.