No more excuses!

I'm finally there! Thru the gauntlet of the holidays and there are no more excuses to put off doing some weight loss!!

I stepped on the scale today and it was painful to see what I've done to myself. Not unexpected but painful. I've crossed a boundary I'd vowed never to cross again and it was depressing. I need to fight those feelings of depression tho because I tend to want to medicate bad feelings with food. Not going to be doing that for months to come if I can avoid it! I still need to keep myself positive!

Part of that is to imagine where I want to get to and how good it'll feel to get there. I'm not happy with my appearance or how I feel lately. It will feel good to change! I need to keep that in my mind when the cravings come later, and they will come. They always do! I've been successful before so I know I can do it again. It takes commitment. And constantly reaffirming that commitment. That's where I tend to fall down. I'm hoping this journal will help with that.

This morning was a bit of a struggle. Everyone has gone back to work! Traffic levels sucked! I had my moment of panic this AM when the traffic backed up way earlier in the commute than usual and I was watching the folks behind me flying up and clenching my teeth, bracing for impact thinking "don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me". They didn't. Holiday traffic was sooooo nice! All those people taking time off work, all those offices and schools closed! Now it's back to normal. Shit.

Even Bruiser was on a delayed schedule today. I had to wake him up and get him moving so he'd eat and go potty before I left! That's a little bit of vengeance for me since he feels compelled to bark at me and wake me up early on my days off.

My daughter was texting me this AM about how sick she was. She has my sympathy but at the same time, she HAS to work or she gets no money so sick or not she has a judgement call to make. Can she afford to miss that work? I hope she gets a job that has benefits some day. I feel so bad for folks who don't have benefits. It sucks balls to not be able to stay home when you're sick! I stayed home a day last time I was sick but still had to go to work as soon as I was able because sick or not, work needed to get done! All of us do it. Even tho I have benefits I've used them up before and had to take the financial hit because of a sick day so I guess benefits aren't always a safeguard.

My tummy is growling. Hungry is good! This is my mantra today!!