Magic Mike movie review

Last Friday I got the thought in my head that my sister and I should live on the edge a bit and go see the movie "Magic Mike".  I was pretty excited for a girl's night out!  Most of the time, since I'm trying to pay down credit and seem to be chronically short on fun money, I sit at home and either read or watch the TV.  My life is rather dull most of the time.  The happy flip side to this is that when I do plan something I tend to get pretty excited about it!

Here's what I enjoyed about the movie.  (crickets chirping)







Ok, it wasn't that bad (Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man was worse) but it was equivalent to a cold shower for my libido. 

My interest in that sort of thing apparently has not improved with age.  Back in the day I would occassionally go to male strip shows with some girlfriends.  I loved having an excuse to get away from my kids and my normal life for an evening!  But the strippers...errgh...well they were mostly good looking!  I'll say that for them.  But they were silly.  Men in thongs and legwarmers are silly looking.  (Leg warmers show you just how long ago it was that I last went to one of these shows!)

Men don't make interesting strippers.  At least to me they don't.  It's just not a very manly thing to do!  I do enjoy looking at a pretty man but if one is dancing around in a thong it's all I can do not to laugh!  They look good when they pose for pictures don't they?  I did laugh plenty at Magic Mike.  Probably at inappropriate times but whatevs...it was my $10 so I can do what I want!

There was one thing that was very distracting (one thing, right) and that was the size of Matthew McConaughey's head.  He has a rather large head in comparison to his tiny little body.  And his legs are kinda short.  Or is this just me?  Maybe it was just the hat?  He is in good shape.  I'll give him that.  (see <----)

The camera work on him wasn't kind for the most part.  Made him look like he isn't aging well, despite the fit bod.  But that was probably on purpose since he wasn't playing a super sweetheart, cutie patootie. 

I'll be honest with you...I felt super repulsed when they would pull women on the stage and dry hump their faces!  I'm familiar with the scent of a man in that region.  The thought of some strange dude, who's sweaty, dry humping my face on a stage would probably get him punched hard in the nut sac!  I was grimacing thru that part.  I'm grimacing writing about it right now! 

I'm honestly not a prude.  Ask Ken!  On second thought, don't.  That's our business.  Anyway, you'll have to take my word for it.  I'm not a prude but that was going a little far.  I'm eternally grateful that the strippers I saw back in the day only went for kisses.  Sure they'd straddle you sometimes to grant them but they kept their mouths closed and didn't try to dry hump your face.  I never realized, until this movie, that I even should be grateful for that but hey, I really am! 

There was one part that caught my attention and made me wonder.  There was a scene where a dialog was going on and you could see a penis being pumped in the corner of the shot.  They made sure you noticed by having the new kid in the movie stare at it, mesmerized.  And you could see it stretching down the tube.  I kept wondering what was the point of that?  I think it was to stretch it the hell out for a later shot but wouldn't that be damaging?  Wouldn't it hurt?  It looked like it should hurt!

The last time I went to a stripper show I realized I couldn't go again.  Because I found it ridiculous.  And I didn't want to hurt any guy's feelings by laughing at him when he wiggled over so's I could put a dollar in his thong.  And I really, really didn't want a kiss!  REALLY!!  Ick.  I try to be polite.  If I can't then...

I find watching women strip to be far more interesting to watch.  I used to go now and again when I was in my 20's. I think I was trying to prove how cool and uninhibited I was. No, I'm not a latent lesbian.  Tho I'd probably be pretty good at it if I was!  I mean, girls know what girls like right?  Thing is they are missing some parts I happen to really enjoy but I get it.  I have yet to find a woman that I'm attracted to like that.  Except for Michelle Malkin.  I might become a temporary lesbian like Anne Heche for that one!   

The thing about it is, that I can imagine myself doing what the lady strippers are doing and when I'm in the right frame of mind I find it to be pretty titillating.  (let me point out the poetic use of titillating :)  I can't imagine myself being one of those dudes on the stage though, and nothing they're doing up there is making me want to bang them or bang my honey either.  So girl strippers are the winner if I'm gonna go to a strip show!  YAY!  Or not, since I don't go to strip shows anymore.  I can just stay home and have a cold shower if I want to kill my libido!  I don't need to pay a cover charge to do it!  Older and wiser.  Except for Friday night.  I wonder how many years it'll be before I get the stupid notion that I need to see a strip show again?