I'm thankful for my friends!

I’m not the most social person around.  I’m an introvert.  I need a lot of time to myself.  It’s how I am. 

Even in a crowd I’ll climb into a book and leave the group mentally if necessary to get some private time to escape.   My mother used to be amazed at how far I’d go into a book.  She’d almost have to shake me or yell at me to get my attention at times.  I remember when I read Roots.  I buried myself in that for a week, every waking moment and when I came out of it I was kind of feeling a little shell shocked trying to catch up on what had happened while I’d been away.  That’s what it felt like anyway. 

Facebook suites my social style.  It has opened up a line of contact with people that works super well for my personality!  I can interact with people without having much face time.  I get to manage my time the way I want and yet keep in contact.  It’s really nice J

I’m not such an introvert that I look at my feet when I talk to people but I tend not to seek people out.  I’m not shy.  I have a lot of confidence in myself so no reason to be shy.  I’m very comfortable in my own skin, but I tend to be somewhat reserved with strangers.  It can take me a while. 

I can be warm and welcoming.  Luckily I have parents who are extroverts and I watched them meet people and make them feel at ease.  My Dad would just walk up to complete strangers and start chatting with them and they’d start smiling back at him pretty quickly.  He can be very charming when he wants to turn it on.  He was quite fearless too.  I never knew him to hesitate to walk up to someone if he felt some need to speak with them!

My Mom is a warm, good natured person with a talent for gentle flirting and she charms people with ease (at least that’s how it looked to me – half my male friends in HS had crushes on her!)  I learned from them.  I can make people feel at ease and show them a warm smile when we meet.  But I could NEVER be a salesperson!  I know my limitations!

I rarely call people.  I pretty much never stop by to chat.  I’m horrible at small talk.  If I know you well and feel comfortable with you I’ll talk your ear off.  I talk with my hands too when excited so you may have to duck!  You’ll never guess that I’m an introvert except for the fact that after we part I can go back into my “cave” and not have contact for a long time.  I spend a lot of time by myself and I’m very content with that 98% of the time.  That other 2% means I will finally make a phone call. 

The best way I can put it is that I live a very active internal life.  I don’t have a great drive to add to it with an active external life.  I’m somewhat topped out all the time already.  That’s probably the best way I can explain it.

At the same time, I can get lonely being the way I am.  I NEED people even if I’m not, by nature, driven to seek them out.  There are a few who “get” me, maybe because they are similar and I value them highly!  I can go for weeks/months/years without talking to some of them and when we meet up it’s like we’re picking up where we left off.  They know I love them even if we haven’t been in touch for a long time.  They know we’re solid and there is nothing to prove or live up to. 

Having me as a friend can be great because I’m low maintenance.  On the other hand, I’m low maintenance and that can be a problem for some who need more than that. 

Reasons why I’m grateful for my friends:

1. Distraction from my own troubles. 

Hearing about their troubles gets me out of myself and helps remind me that there is more going on in the world than what I personally experience in my little bubble. 

1. They love me in spite of myself sometimes. 
    
   I’m not always an easy person to be around.  Yeah, I know, you just can’t believe that but trust me, it’s true!  When I’m being a whiney wuss or a crabby bitch or being snotty or bossy or full of myself, they love enough of my good qualities to forgive my bad or sometimes they kick my crabby ass and tell me to knock it off because they know that I’ll love them anyway.  Even if I get mad at them, I’ll love them anyway. 
    
2. Sometimes they make me cry. 
    
   Sometimes this is bad.  When they hurt, I hurt.  Sometimes my heart breaks for them with the losses they suffer and the adversity they have to face! 
    
   Sometimes it’s in a good way.  The other day I was having a really bad day.  I was really stressed out and hurting.  My friend sent me a message that said I was awesome, made me laugh and cry and reassured me that I’m doing ok despite some evidence to the contrary. 
    
3. They make me laugh!
    
   They post funny things on facebook.  They send me emails and entertain me.  They say funny things when we’re hanging out.  I made the “floaty head” with one of them and we giggled half the damned night over it!  They crack jokes and are not PC.  They are sometimes terribly lewd and inappropriate and they make sure to share those things with me!  They soooo get me J
    
4. They fight with me.

Not all the time, thankfully, but when we have differences they will stick it out and argue an issue.  They don’t puss out.  They don’t run away.  They don’t turn their backs on me because we don’t think the same about everything.  They have the guts and enough faith in our friendship to disagree without running away.  Luckily I don’t fight much with my friends but when I do, I like to know that there is enough to our relationship that we can get really gut honest about our opinions without fear of losing a friend and that we can find compromise if not common ground.

1. Because they are cool, unique people!
    
   My friends are smart, interesting and sassy.  They are funny and they love to laugh and have fun!  They are equally good at lying in the sun with me like slugs and soaking it up.  They marvel at the world with me.  They can be bitchy.  They can be aggressive.  They share a common love of family.  Some of us swap books.  A LOT of books!  Some of them know what it means when I say “let’s get on vent” or “my DPS sucks”. 
    
2. They challenge me.

They share their experiences and views with me and it can change the way I see the world.  I can find out how things feel for others and hear about places I’ve never been.  They share themselves with me and I return the favor.  I count on their insight and knowledge!

1. Some of them share my history.

Some of them have been friends of mine for many years.  There are a few that go back so far I have a hard time remembering life before they were in mine.  Our time together has ebbed and flowed but they were with me during some important years of my life and they will ALWAYS matter to me.  They are part of the story of my life and who I am.  If you were a friend of mine, guess what?  You still are.  We’re solid.