Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Bras vs. Bandaids - if you don't want to think about boobs avoid this post!

Gasp!  My boob just fell out of the bottom of my bra!  At work!!


There.


I discreetly tucked my boob back into my bra without anyone seeing me. 


Whew!


I don't like bras very much.  Honestly?  The minute I get home I switch to a shirt that won't show so much (like a t-shirt under a sweat shirt) so I can get the damned thing off as quickly as possible! 


I hate being squeezed around the ribs.  I really do!  It's awful!  It's like jail!


That's why my boob just fell out of my bra at work.  Not cool!  I'm wearing my most comfy, sloppy, loose hanging bra possible.  I know.  TMI.  But it's my blog and I get to talk about what I want to.  Many women will get this. 


Some women love bras!  I am NOT one of those women.  I find them horribly uncomfortable and restricting.  Who wants to wear a tight band around their ribs all day?  Not me!  My BF isn't around.  I have no one to impress.  He wouldn't care if I went without a bra anyway unless it turned into an embarrassing incident and then, knowing him, he'd probably just laugh at me and never let me forget it!


Personally, I'm aiming for comfort.  I buy a bra and loosen everything up as much as possible.  As a result the straps tend to slide down my arms on a semi-regular basis.  It's obnoxious but the alternative is having something tight over my shoulders and around my ribs and that does NOT appeal to me in the slightest.  So I tug them up.  Well I was just tugging the strap up when my boob fell out the bottom.  And my male co-workers were standing outside my office door waiting for their cohort to join them for lunch!  Very bad timing for one of the girls to escape!


I miss the old days when they were smaller.  I went braless a lot back then because it wasn't so obvious.  Now it's kind of cow like.  I shouldn't be so mean really.  They aren't that bad.  But they move around a lot now.  Kind of hard to hide them when they are be-bopping around independently.


When I started having mammograms in my 30's the techs would complain about how hard it was to squish them flat for pictures.  Now they are quite content as my boobs are totally cooperative.  They'll go flat without much of a struggle!  They have gotten older and less firm just like me.  Bummer.


Even when I was young and they were smaller and perky, I hated bras.  Underwires dig into your ribs.  I used to remove them the instant I got the bra.  Now I don't.  Sadly, now the girls need the extra support. 


Now my mind is wandering to that one time, after I'd stopped nursing my child and thought the milk was dried up so went motorcycle riding without a bra on.  And got an embarrassing wet t-shirt for my troubles!  Nice big circles around the nipples so it wasn't even a hot wet t-shirt! 


I like my boobs but they are often a pain!  I envy men their lack of boobs some days.  Well they have boobs but most will never wear a bra.  Some will but that's another story...


Anyway, there was a point to this.  Back when I had smaller boobs (they got bigger when I got heavier - no boob jobs - too cheap for that plus I hear it hurts real bad and I'm not into pain for beauty.  I'll live with what I got.)  Detoured again...I figured the only reason I needed a bra was to keep me from showing if I got nipped from a chill breeze or some such.  So one day I got the bright idea of putting those little round Band-Aids on my nipples to hold them down.  I'd heard male joggers do this to avoid chaffing. 


It worked like a charm!  No nippler incidents that day and the girls were still firm enough not to be caboodling hither and yon independently so it was working for me.  I thought I'd figured out how to beat the bra rule!  At least until I got home that night and tried to take the Band-Aids off.  HOLY GODS!!!  That was NOT FUN!!!  Trying to even get an edge up to grip to peel was a challenge and then peeling them off the nipples??  I've had waxing sessions that were less painful!!  I quit waxing and went back to shaving so you can get how well I tolerate that kind of pain.  Maybe I am a wimp like my chiropractor intimated?  Anyway, I never did the Band-Aid trick again and I think joggers who do this are masochists. 


Moral of the story...never put round Band-Aids on your nipples.  Unless you're a masochist.


Secondary moral of the story (because it's not painful)...I'm going to be more careful about the level of force used to tug my straps back up. 


You didn't really think I was going to wear my bra tighter did you?  Ick.

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